Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuffs
by SSJ2 PikaFlash
Summary: The final chapter has everything a final chapter needs: Receiving an award, a worldwide concert, disposing a president, plenty of Flashbacks, Space Travel, Red Caps, GoggleCams, Pink Hair, everyone dies and YuGiOh!. Warning: May contain !Crack.
1. All Hail President Izumi

**[Prologue: Behind the Scenes Fanfic BrainStorm]**

Satoshi Katsumoto, Taichi Yagami and Sakura Kinomoto are sitting in a meeting room, with Tai kicking things off.

"Alright, after tons of failed projects, plus a few successful ones that ended up in the **Great 2004 FanFiction Purge**, we have far too many misses for Tai Enterprises to survive 2010. I can personally admit that the Naruto News Show was a great success with 50 chapters, but with the slump in 2009, I had to resort to buying a few cows for Tax Purposes."

"Maybe it's time to get some new talent," Sakura suggests. "Tai Enterprises have been running since 2001 and we could do with a change."

Tai sends a glare at Sakura. "Easy for you and Ash to say, since you two have your own ventures that are still running while I'm running solo on this joint venture that the three owns."

_(Background Story: In 2001, Taichi Yagami .aka Tai Kamiya, started a business venture known as Tai Enterprises with Satoshi Katsumoto (.aka Ash Ketchum) and Sakura Kinomoto (.aka Sakura Avalon). Tai Enterprises which acts as an agent to Characters in need for Fanfic roles if their series ended or side jobs, if they are an on-going series with too many fillers. And with the Financial Crisis how things are going, Tai Enterprises have been going downhill.)_

Tai crossed his arms. "I guess I have no choice. If we're going to survive, we need someone to research the Anime trends of today or we'll be left behind. We have only one option left..."

Tai looks out the window. "There's only one person who is a know-it-all who can push my business forward and leave everyone else in the dust."

Ash looked at Sakura and silently mouthed to Sakura, _'Ever since he got _**'cheated'**_ by the scriptwriters on Digimon 02, Tai's changed from the friendly, courageous character in the series into the egotitistical bastard he is now.'_

Sakura agrees and replied. 'But I think I can understand the need for revenge, but at least he has no intentions of harming his ex-girlfriend.'

Tai continues. "And I have decided that we will need to unleash our secret weapon: The Otaku we hired as an intern!"

'_I think I can picture this as our worst fanfic ever,'_ mouthed Ash as he slumped on the meeting table.

Sakura agreed. _'Hear, hear.'_

*

A blue-haired Intern is in the Tai Enterprises Lunch Room taking her lunch out of the fridge, consisting of a Chocolate Cornet and a small bottle of flavored milk. The only other person in the room is Ash, who is reading the day's newspaper, so the Intern sits at the table. As the Intern eats her lunch, she decides to start a conversation.

"I know you guys hired me to be your Otaku Expert on your Fanfiction projects, but have you noticed in some Naruto fanfics, the authors turn Sasuke into a male Tsundere otherwise he would be considered OOC?"

Ash continues to read his paper. "Really? I didn't seem to notice that. But then again, if you think about it, it does make sense since Sasuke had a bit of a twisted childhood that turned him into an Emo. "

"When do you suppose our series be joining your lineup of fanfics?"

Ash looks at the Intern. "It's not an easy task. Considering the demographic and the authors who do the fanfics, it will be a tough to survive. But once you get enough experience, trying to cater to the readers will be a piece of cake. But we will allow you to keep the other job we offered you, since it's something that depends on the calendar. After all, we do need someone to go to the different Anime Conventions around the world and report back and the best person to do it is an Otaku. Of course, for tax purposes, we are only allowed to pay for travel, accommodation and entry to the venue."

"That's okay. As long as I get to see what other places in the world thinks if Japanese Anime, I'd be happy to do it."

Ash moved on to the next page of the newspaper. "Don't you think there are too many Anime and Harry Potter crossover fanfics?"

The Intern nods. "Yeah. I can understand how some Anime genres could fit in the Harry Potter Universe, but how does two different worlds with different laws of physics work? I mean, a **Negima/Harry Potter** Crossover would have a smooth transition because of the theme of Magic. But what about a **Pokémon/Harry Potter** or **Naruto/Harry Potter** crossover fanfic?"

Ash scratched his head. "Well, in terms of a Naruto/Harry Potter Crossover Fanfic, it would be a bit of a challenge, considering that one world involves the use of Chakra, or what one wise man explained it as a different version of _**'Ki'**_. And the other is just pure magic. How the author would BS their way through it is what makes their Fanfic unique. As far as I know, the fate of a fanfic has only three outcomes. It's good, bad or obscure. If it's good, you would expect a ton of positive reviews. If it's bad, it will be a ton of negative reviews."

"What about obscure?" asked the Intern.

Ash puts the newspaper down. "If it's obscure, it wouldn't matter if your fanfic is good or bad. The reviews are so little you wonder if you should have turned it into Flamebait just for the publicity."

Once Lunchtime is over, Ash and the Blue-Haired Intern are walking towards Tai's office for the Intern's interview.

"By the way, why is there an Anti-Digimon atmosphere in the office?" asked the Intern.

Ash calmly answered. "Don't read too far into it, but I believe it involves the unfavorable ending of Digimon 02. Tai and lots of Digimon Fans were kinda pissed at how the writers ruined the romantic relationship that began in the first season to the point that a few took the drastic measure of disowning the Ending. But not Tai. He won't disown the ending because he needs a legitimate reason to pick a fight."

The Intern thinks, _'Wow, this is the first time I'm meeting someone holding an eight-year Grudge against the writers an Anime Series. And most flamers don't hold grudges that last a week.'_

*

The Intern is now in an interview with Tai.

"Konata Izumi. Things aren't looking too good for Tai Enterprises, so we're going to have to throw you into the world of Fanfiction to distract everyone from our major problems here."

"I think I can handle this with no problems," said Konata in a relax state-of-mind. "When do I start?"

"There will be a trial period where I must preview the first couple chapters of your project. After that, if your project is satisfactory, you'll have full control of the project where I play no part in it."

Konata remained relaxed as she waves her hand. "Well, as long as I don't have to use Recycled Jokes, it will be cool."

Tai frowned. _'I can understand your optimism, but when things go bad, I hope you won't rely on using recycled jokes like we did.'_

**[End Fanfic Brainstorm]**

* * *

**[Here's where the fanfic really begins...]**

_A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000_

_In association with Tai Enterprises_

_A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project _

*

**Konata Izumi, Japanese President and Other Stuff **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A hot-air balloon crash lands in the President's backyard.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Among a huge collection of other Limited Edition Anime Plushies Konata had won. The new Plushie is used for spreading the Gospel.

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice-President Kagamin]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Vegeta is smirking.

**[Special Guest Star: Vegeta as Former Japanese Vice-President Vegetable]**

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 1]**

*

**[Episode 1: All Hail President Izumi]**

_**Konata's Narration:**__ "The Previous President was run over by an Ice Cream Truck and after a quick election, I'm now the President of one of the greatest countries of the world: __**Domino City**__. The home of Freaky Anime Hairstyles, Card Games, Money and the center of Yaoi culture. Meanwhile, at __**KonaHQ**__ in Saitama, I work on the first order of business as the new President..."_

**[KonaHQ .aka President Izumi's Office/Home in Saitama]**

In the President's office, Konata is sitting at her desk. "Now that I'm President, I have more power than Haruhi! Now how can I abuse my new power?"

Konata switched on the TV in the office to get some ideas. "...in a new US$10 Million contract with potential endorsements in the American Baseball..."

Konata finally gets her idea. "I know what I can do with my new powers. I will use it endorse my favorite Anime Series and spread the gospel!" Konata puts rubs her chin. "Now how can I do that? Maybe I should call my new American buddy, President Derek! If I can convert him, then it will be easy for me to get those endorsements."

Konata dials a few random numbers on her phone.

'_Derek': "Hello?"_

"Yo, President Derek! It's your new buddy, Japanese President Konata."

'_Derek': "Who? My name is not Derek."_

"Are you interested in Anime? You can be my first convert. Is that cool with you?"

'_Derek' _hangs up.

"Hello? Derek?"

Konata puts the phone down. "Well, that didn't work."

*

Konata enters the Vice-President's office, where Kagami is unpacking her desk.

"Kagamin, I need money!"

Kagami refused. "No. We can't spend the government's money! We need it to fund Public Services or the country will go bankrupt. Use your own money for your Otaku needs!"

Konata pouts. "Kagamin, you're the worst Vice-President since Vegeta."

Kagami slams her palms on the desk. "Excuse me! I may be the Third Vice-President of Japan, but I only started this job today, so you have no right to say who the worst Vice-President is yet!"

Konata grinned. "If that's the case, I'll poll the public to see what they think..."

*

Konata is addressing a classroom of Elementary School students. "Pop quiz, Kids: Who is the Worst Vice-President since Vegeta?"

The kids answered: "Kagamin!"

Konata sends the thumbs up to Kagami as she groaned. "But they're kids who can't vote yet, so it doesn't count!"

'_But still, she must have bribed those kids with something Anime related to give that answer to my face,'_ Kagami mentally added.

*

_**Konata: **__"Anyway, forget Kagamin. I have a bigger fish to fry. A spiky-haired shorty who used to have Kagamin's job known as Former Vice-President Vegetable."_

Former Vice-President Vegeta is in a press conference in front of hundreds of microphones on a podium.

"President Izumi is no more than an Immature Child who simply took over from someone ran over by an Ice Cream Truck."

_**Konata: **__"He has stockpiled hundreds of microphones and he is using them against me! I cannot allow that anymore! I will have to take matters into my own hands!"_

*

President Konata and Vice-President Kagami are at an Anime Convention, where Konata announces her plan to the Japanese Public and Otakus. "To fight Vegetable and his stockpile of Microphones, Japan needs you, a huge army of Otakus! You're in Konata's Army now!"

Kagami is skeptical of Konata's plan, not that it is well thought, knowing Konata. She pulled Konata to the side and whispered. "You dragged me all the way here so that you could recruit Otakus for your army? I doubt they would have your athletic ability to fight Vegeta."

"Oh, I'm not hiring an Otaku Army to fight," Konata explains. "I need them to build a stockpile of Anime Memorabilia to overwhelm Vegetable's Microphone Stockpile."

Kagami sighed and grumbled. _'Yep, that's our Konata.'_

"And it's Kona-tastic!" Konata raised her hand to form the symbol of V for Victory.

**[End of Episode 1]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata:**__ "The President has more power than Haruhi. Go me!"_

* * *

**[Random Post-Fanfic Joke]**

Naruto is walking down a beach.

_Naruto: "I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was walking down the beach with my father."_

Naruto looked back where he was walking to find two sets of footprints.

_Naruto: "I looked behind me to see two sets of footprints. One belonged to me and one belonged to my father, Minato Namikaze."_

Minato is standing behind Naruto, waiting for Naruto to continue walking forward.

Naruto continued walking. After a while, he turned around and noticed that there is only one set of footprints behind him on the sand.

_Naruto: "At one point, I could only see one set of footprints in the sand and it only occurred during the lowest point of my life."_

Naruto pulls out a cell phone and makes a call.

_Naruto: "_I made a phone call to Kishimoto and I ask, _'Why is it that when you promised that my father would be with me all the time, but when I need him the most, he is not there.' _Kishimoto's reply:_ 'The one point where you see only one set of footprints...'"_

Minato is in the water, being attacked by a cardboard shark. After a while, Minato's corpse is floating on the water...

"'_...is when your father has been taken by a massive shark who is a relative of Kisame.'"_

*

Meanwhile in Saitama, Fanfic Reader Konata Izumi angrily closed her Internet Browser after reading this fanfic and opens up her Email program to type up an email...

"_Dear PikaFlash, _

_I wish to complain about your stupid Minato Joke I just read. As a concerned Fanfic Reader, I am horrified to find out that you are implying that Kisame is part-shark and has a family member who attacked the Fourth Hokage at a beach when it is clearly obvious that the shark is a fake. What a waste of __**FFdotNet's**__ Bandwidth._

_Sincerely,  
Konata Izumi  
Saitama" _

Konata sends the email.

**[End Post-Fanfic Joke]**


	2. Chocolate Coated Kagamin

Sojiro is walking down a beach.

Sojiro: _"I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was walking down the beach."_

Sojiro looked back where he was walking to find two sets of footprints.

Sojiro: _"I looked behind me to see two sets of footprints. One belonged to me and one belonged to my daughter, Konata."_

Konata is standing behind Sojiro, waiting for Sojiro to continue walking forward.

Sojiro continued walking. After a while, he turned around and noticed that there is only one set of footprints behind him on the sand.

Sojiro: _"At one point, I could only see one set of footprints in the sand and it only occurred during the lowest point of my life."_

Sojiro pulls out a cell phone and makes a call.

Sojiro: "I made a phone call to the author and I ask, _'Have you seen my daughter? When I need her the most, she is not there.'_ The reply: _'The one point where you see only one set of footprints...'_"

Konata is walking around the beach holding a metal detector.

"'_...is when your daughter is searching for loose change further down the beach.'_"

The metal detector makes a loud beep and Konata quickly dug the sand to find a 100 yen coin buried in the sand. "Score!"

* * *

_A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000_

_In association with Tai Enterprises_

_A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project _

*

**Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuff **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A hot-air balloon crash lands in the President's backyard.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Among a huge collection of other Limited Edition Anime Plushies Konata had won. The new Plushie is used for spreading the Gospel.

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

Izzy is showing off his new iPhone.

**[Special Guest Star: Koushiro **_**'No Relation'**_** Izumi as Izzy]**

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 1]**

*

**[Episode 2: Chocolate-Coated Kagamin]**

Konata is at an Anime Convention.

_**Konata's Narration: **__"I had overwhelmed Vegetable and got myself a stockpile of Anime Memorabilia. Everyone was celebrating!"_

A few police officers are dragging away a very drunk Nanako Kuroi after a wild night out. "Wheeeee!"

*

_**Konata: **__"So I decided to get down to business with my new Head of Foreign Affairs."_

Konata and Tsukasa are in the President's office. "Alright, now how do we celebrate your new appointment, Tsukasa?"

Tsukasa is smiling. "I don't know, Kona-chan. I'm not exactly experienced in politics."

Konata stood up on the desk and does a heroic pose. "Not to worry. If you have any problems, the President will do everything in her power to help you. I hear that there is a new restaurant nearby. Maybe we should go there and try it out. I hear the head chef makes his own Balsamic Vinegar."

"What about Sis? I'm sure she would like to join us for dinner." asked Tsukasa.

Konata has her confident catlike smile one her face. "I'm sure she'll find out about it on Twitter."

***Konata: **"**Twitter Time!**"*

**[Konata's Twitter Account]**

**KonaKona (5 minutes ago): **"I'm at the new Restaurant near my workplace and the waiter gave me the wrong meal. Now how am I going to sort this out?"

**KonaKona (2 minutes ago):** "I just threw my meal at the waiter's face. That'll teach him to give me the wrong meal."

**KonaKona (1 minute ago):** "Is that Kagamin walking into the restaurant?"

*

_**Konata: **__"Unfortunately, a few Digimons aren't happy with the way I treated that waiter, so they are burning effigies everyday."_

A group of Digimons are protesting by burning effigies of Pokémons.

_**Konata: **__"Which was a good thing as I just opened my new Effigy Warehouse..."_

*

**[Konata's Effigy Warehouse Big Opening Sale!]**

**[Effigies for:]  
Protests  
Birthdays  
Bachelor Parties  
Anime Conventions **

"Huge discounts on Effigies like:"

**[Former President Goku]  
[Naruto Uzumaki]  
[And the most popular, Pikachu]**

Suddenly, Konata pops out of nowhere. "Two days only."

*

_**Konata:**__ "After that awesome sale I had, I decided to hang around at a nearby Anime Convention to spend my profits."_

Konata is sitting on a bench at an Anime Convention after doing a lot of shopping. Konata decided to take the time to think...

'_Now what should I think about now, since I'm alone right now. I wonder how I can find a __**Choco Cornet**__ around here. Hmmm, I hear that someone is experimenting with the idea of having a __**Chocolate-Coated Choco Cornet**__. Come to think of it, I wonder what is Kagamin doing right now? What would I give for a __**Chocolate-Coated Kagamin**__? Maybe I should head back to __**KonaHQ**__ right now.'_

***Konata: "Twitter Time!"***

**[Konata's Twitter Account]**

**KonaKona (3 minutes ago):** "Hi, everyone. I got myself a good haul after spending my profits. I'm now on my way back to **KonaHQ**."

**KonaKona (2 minutes ago):** "Ouch. I just kicked a heavy Cosplay Prop."

**KonaKona (1 minute ago):** "Eh, does anyone know how to fix a bleeding toe?"

*

Konata is in her office on her computer. "What's taking so long for _**CrazySexyMeganekko(dot)com(dot)jp**_ to load?" As Konata waits for a few seconds, she suddenly has a new idea in her head. And Konata will get her idea at any cost because she is the President of Japan. "I got it! I'm going to use my Presidential powers to create a new Internet. A Super-Fast Internet."

Konata picks up the phone. "Time to call my competition." She dials a few numbers and ends up calling Koushiro _'Izzy, No Relation,'_ Izumi. Once Izzy picks up the phone, Konata speaks.

"Hey, Izzy!"

_Izzy: "Yes, hello?"_

"Thought you would like to know that I'm taking over the Internet!

_Izzy: "What?"_

"Yeah, it's too slow. CrazySexyMeganekko(dot)com(dot)jp is taking way too long to load. It's time for the KonaNet to take over!"

_Izzy: "You sound like you have a problem. Is there someone looking after you?"_

Konata looks around. "You mean Kagamin? She doesn't look after me. She's the Vice-President. The best she can be is a lame Housegirl."

Izzy hangs up.

"Hello?"

*

_**Konata: **__"With the new project in mind, I decided to go to the KonaLab to discuss my new plan with the Techies."_

Konata is in a room full of computers with a group of IT Technicians. Konata notices a button. "What does this button do?"

"No! Don't touch that!" yelled the Technician.

It was too late. Konata pressed the button, shutting down the entire system to the KonaLab.

***Konata: "Whoopsies."***

**Konata: **"After getting the Techies fix the bug I found, it didn't take long for my new KonaNet to be set up. 100 times faster than the Internet, millions more KonaSites and SuperFast access to Anime, Manga and Game-related Hentai. But..."

Konata walked out of her office into Kagami's office, interrupting her work. "Kagamin! **CrazySexyMeganekko(dot)com(dot)jp** is still not loading up. What's wrong with the KonaNet?"

"It's your **KonaNet**. Why do I have to do something about it?" Kagami retorted.

Konata is in tears. "But Kagamin, if you don't do something about it, I'm going to need to find a new Kagamin help me! One that is covered in Chocolate."

A sweatdrop appeared behind Kagami. "How the hell can you find a new me? And why do you need me to be covered in Chocolate anyway?"

*

Later, Konata is at a press conference making a statement. "I apologize for the problems involving KonaNet. Kagamin played a part in it, so even I won't pay for it."

Konata was about to walk off when she remembered something else. She looks at the cameras and smiled.

"By the way, **CrazySexyMeganekko(dot)com(dot)jp **is Kona-tastic!"

**[End of Episode 2]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata:**__ "Just plugging __**CrazySexyMeganekko(dot)com(dot)jp**__.__** ;P**__"_

* * *

**[Community Service Announcement]**

Shikamaru is walking down a corridor in a hospital. "Hi, I'm Shikamaru from Naruto. Recently, we've received a request from a viewer named Konata Izumi from Saitama who wants us to offer free tickets to Comiket. I had a word with my fellow cast members and we've came to an agreement that the best way to solve this problem is for me to drive a truck through the set of Lucky Star, injuring Konata and her cast members so that they can't go to Comiket, saving us the money used to purchase those tickets. And its mission accomplished."

**[To be continued...]**

* * *

**[Behind the Scenes: Fanfic BrainStorm]**

Konata is sitting next to Sakura's workspace in the Tai Enterprises Office.

"By the way, whose idea was it to come up with the Japanese President?" asked Konata. "If I recall, Japan only have a Prime Minister and an Emperor, but not a President."

Sakura looked up from her workspace. "Oh, it's a reference to a joke we used a few years back. We needed an excuse to poke fun at politicians, but we didn't want to risk a defamation lawsuit, so we came up with a politician we can poke fun at. Hence, we came up with the Japanese President. Then, we elected Goku from DBZ as the first Japanese President from 2000-2008, before Ash was elected to be the second President."

"So, Ash is now the Japanese President? Who was his opponent during that election?"

"Tai."

"How did Ash win?"

"It was rigged."

A moment of Silence as Konata processed the information.

"What did Ash say when he found out?"

"Nothing," answered Sakura. "He just continues on with his job until his role as Political Target is needed."

*

Konata is waiting outside Tai's office. She knows that _**'Konata Izumi, Japanese President'**_ is her new breadwinner, otherwise she won't get the funds for the different Anime Conventions she has been promised to report on for Tai Enterprises.

Sakura noticed Konata is waiting, so she decided to sit next to Konata.

"Does Tai have to view everything we before it gets posted?" asked Konata.

"Only when it's something Tai is unfamiliar with. It is your first time here and he has the last word on whether your project succeeds or fails. But once you get your first success, you're pretty much free to do whatever you want."

After a few seconds of silence, Konata decides to talk about something else. "By the way, Blueberries are called Blueberries because they're blue, right?"

"That's right."

"So, why are Strawberries called Strawberries when they don't have straws or anything that look like it?"

The conversation got Sakura thinking. "You got a point. Perhaps whoever called it Strawberries figured that it would be put in a milkshake or smoothie and it would be drunk out of a straw, hence the word _'Strawberry'_." Sakura noticed a strange look on Konata's face. It is as though Konata is possessed by the ghost of a deceased Otaku.

"I think I recognized you. You're that Famous Cosplayer working for the Daidouji Corporation!"

Sakura does a facepalm. _'This is why I was against hiring an Otaku in the first place.' _Sakura glares at the door to Tai's office. _'Tai, for the love of Pikachu, give her the thumbs up so that I don't have to do another cameo role in front of her again!'_

Ash walks out of Tai's office with an envelope. "Good news, Konata. Tai was pleased with your project, so he's giving you the green light. Good luck and enjoy your Anime Conventions." Ash gives the envelope to Konata.

"Cool." As Konata was about to leave, Ash stopped her.

"Before you go, could you join us for a bit of fun and games?" asked Ash. "We can make it worth your time."

*

Konata, Ash, Tai and Sakura are playing a 4-Player Team Battle on Super Smash Bros. Brawl, with Konata having a confident grin, Ash enjoying himself, Sakura laughing and Tai in a state of panic.

"Why did I ask her to be here?" asked Tai.

"Because you needed an extra player," answered Ash. "Bet you're regretting that decision now, right? You're the one who stipulated Boys vs. Girls."

"You're on the Losing Team too, Ash!"

Ash grinned. "It's a small price to pay to see you humiliated, Mr. _'I-play-games-everyday-because-I'm-so-awesome'_."

**[End Fanfic Brainstorm]**

* * *

**[Post-Fanfic Segment]**

Kagami and Tsukasa are sitting on a couch.

"Now, I want to spread the message that unnecessary violence and aggression is bad," said Tsukasa. "I would prefer that talking is better in solving problems than fistfights or overacting Card Games."

Kagami nods. "Of course. With Animes like **Yu-Gi-Oh!** and **Dragonball Z** influencing fans, it's no surprise that they send a terrible message."

Tsukasa smiled. "Yes. People should settle their differences using their heads, not their fists or cards. So, wouldn't it be great if all disputes could be settled by people talking to each other? I'm sure the world would be a much better place."

*

**[YGO! Anime Championship Title Match: Konata Izumi vs. Pikachu]**

Pikachu and Konata are at a table about to play Card Games as Shikamaru sits at the side of the table, playing the role of a mediator.

"Welcome to the Title Match," greeted Shikamaru as the bell rings. "The match time begins now. Konata, you have the first go."

Konata crossed her arms. "My main problem with Pikachu is that he has a rare card and I don't."

Shikamaru rubs his chin. "So, you would like to take Pikachu's rare card using Battle City rules."

"Yeah. I feel that I deserve it a lot more than he does," Konata replied.

"That's good." Shikamaru looks at Pikachu. "Pikachu, how does that make you feel?"

"Pi pika chu pikachu pipi chu, chu pika chu pipi chu." _(Translation: "I would rather keep the Rare Card, because it's my Rare Card.")_ Pikachu said.

"But you took it from me!" Konata interrupts Pikachu.

Shikamaru looks at Konata. "Wait, Konata. Pikachu has the table, so it's his turn to talk."

Konata has had it with the experiment and flings her cards off the table. "That's it! Pikachu's got the table. Pikachu's got the Rare card. What a selfish **(car horn!)**!"

Shikamaru stood up, trying to diffuse the situation. "If you got something to share..."

"Yeah, I got something to share!" Konata picks up her chair. "I'm going to share this f**(car horn!)**ing chair with your face!"

Pikachu stood up. "Pika! Chu pika ka pika Pikachu!" _("Hey! Your beef is with me!")_

"But this is the **(car horn!)** who promised me free tickets to Comiket and instead drove a truck into the Lucky Star set just to injure me!" Konata explains.

"Pika?" _("What?")_ Pikachu looks at Shikamaru. "Chu pika pika chu pi pika chu!" _("Let's beat the crap out of him!")_

Konata smashes the chair in Shikamaru's face, knocking him to the ground. Next, Pikachu continuously tackles Shikamaru in the gut as Konata lands a few punches in the face, venting their frustrations.

Naruto is sitting at a nearby table. "The moral of that story is _'Never, ever, piss off the cast of Lucky Star'_."

*

Meanwhile in Saitama, Fanfic Reader Konata Izumi angrily closed her Internet Browser after reading this fanfic and opens up her Email program to type up an email...

"_Dear PikaFlash, _

_I like to complain about a tasteless punchline to a joke you made earlier about how Shikamaru drove a truck through the set of Lucky Star. I am disgusted. Doesn't Pikachu have more moves than a simple Tackle? What a waste of __**FFdotNet's**__ Bandwidth._

_Sincerely,  
Konata Izumi  
Saitama" _

Konata sends the email.

**[End Post-Fanfic Segment]**


	3. KonaKats

**This fanfic is rated T for Teens...**

**If you want to, you could wait for the Mature version, which comes with:**

_- Calls to Poké-cide  
- Anti-Pokémon Bile  
- And Konata Izumi's Audition Tapes for __**"Japan's Next Top Otaku"**_

* * *

_A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000_

_In association with Tai Enterprises_

_A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project _

*

**Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuff **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A hot-air balloon crash lands in the President's backyard.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Among a huge collection of other Limited Edition Anime Plushies Konata had won. The new Plushie is used for spreading the Gospel.

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

Konata is holding a Nyamo Plushie.

**[Special Guest Star: Nyamo as Nyamo the Lucky Star Mascot]**

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 1]**

*

**[Episode 3: Kona-Kats]**

_**Konata's Narration: **__"The KonaNet is broken and I need to fix it. But another huge issue has my attention..." _

Konata gets out of a Limo and walked into her office.

_**Konata: **__"There's a new Rumor flying saying the writers plan to have Haruhi go on a date with Kyon, so I decided to ask one of their Writers for the juicy details."_

*

Konata dials a few random numbers on the phone and waits for an answer.

_Writer: "Hello?"_

"Hey, I would like to know what's going on with the Haruhi series."

_Writer: "What do you mean?"_

"Is Haruhi going out on a date with Kyon or is it just a rumor?"

_Writer: "I have no idea what you are talking about. I'm just one of the writers for Pokémon."_

"Okay, if you say so. By the way, can you put me in a Pokémon episode?"

The writer hung up.

"I will take that as a no."

*

_**Konata:**__ "Anyway, the KonaNet problems keep getting bigger, so I decided to take some time off by spending time with my pets. Especially my new best cat-friend, Nyamo."_

Konata is petting Nyamo, the Lucky Star _'Mascot'_.

*

_**Konata:**__ "After a while, it got boring playing with my pets, so I decided to do some shopping at an Anime Convention to help me think about the KonaNet."_

Konata is sitting on a bench at an Anime Convention after doing a lot of shopping.

'_It feels like my brain is fried. What is wrong with the KonaNet? Was it __**rats in the wires**__? Did I leave some __**cheese in the Mainframe**__? Or did __**Nyamo sabotage the KonaNet under Vegetable's orders so that he can become President**__? Man, I can't get that nagging feeling out of my head...'_

*

**[Konata's Head]**

Vegeta appears out of the darkness. "Nyamo is now mine!" Vegeta disappears.

Nyamo appears. "Nya..." Nyamo disappears.

Vegeta reappears. "And we're doing it together!" Vegeta re-disappeared.

Nyamo reappears. "Nya..." Nyamo re-disappeared.

Kagami suddenly flies in dressed as a Miko _(Shrine Maiden)_. "Wheee... I am Kagamin!" Kagami noticed her current location. "Wait a minute. What am I doing here?"

(Yep, that's how bad her concentration is right now.)

*

Konata returns to reality with a huge cat-like grin. "Yep, I can't get Kagamin cosplaying out of my head."

Konata's Narration continues.

_**Konata: **__"Anyway, the only option for me is to kill Nyamo by poisoning his food."_

Nyamo is eating its food from the bowl, only to die from the poison.

*

_**Konata: **__"It turns out Nyamo wasn't responsible for ruining the KonaNet."_

Konata and Kagami are in the meeting room.

Kagami apologizes. "Yeah, I accidently pulled the plug when I walked out of the room, Konata. I'm sorry about that. Is there anyway for you to forgive me?"

It didn't take long for Konata to come up with a punishment for Kagami. "Well, your first punishment is for you to do is some Cosplaying for me."

Kagami's face went pale. _'I knew it.'_

A few minutes later, Kagami is modeling in Sakura Kinomoto's Winter School Uniform from Card Captor Sakura as Konata clapped.

'_Konata will never let me forget about this for the rest of my life!'_

*

_**Konata: **__"After indulging myself by watching Kagamin's Cosplay Fashion Show, I found out that Nyamo came back to life, as a Zombie. So, I had to tell the world..."_

Konata is at a press conference, with Kagami in the background, this time cosplaying as Sakura Haruno from Naruto Shippuden.

_(Kagami: 'This is the most humiliating punishment I've ever had.')_

"My cat-friend is a Zombie, so everything's all back to normal!" Konata announced.

A reporter asks a question. "So, how does it feel to have a Zombie Cat, Ms. President?"

"It's Kona-Tastic!"

**[End of Episode 3]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata:**__ "Brains are tasty..."_

* * *

**[Intermission]**

"This segment has been brought to you by **'Mario on Ice'**."

A group of Plumbers are ice skating.

"Because Nintendo has so much money to burn..."

*

**[Digimon TV]**

Konata and Kagami are sitting at a desk. Konata makes the introduction.

"Welcome to **Digimon TV**, a new segment where we look at Television Programs developed in the Digi-World."

Kagami nods. "Yes. We rarely see any programs from the Digi-World, which is a shame because they seem to have a much larger variety than what we have in Japan and we are missing out on a lot of good stuff."

"People say the King of Pop is dead," said Konata. "It's a lie. The King of Pop is very much alive in the Digi-World and performing topical songs on TV."

*

Agumon is singing in a studio.

"_I hear about this Swine Flu! So what? To hell with those pigs since we're Digital!"_

*

"But the talk shows in the Digi-World aren't just a platform to mouth-off events in the real world," Kagami explains. "They also give voice to some of the Digi-World's most important more marginalized groups."

"Yeah, like the Digimon Tamer Unique Hair Organization," said Konata.

Kagami is confused as she looked at Konata. "The Digimon Tamer Unique Hair Organization? How unique can a Digimon Tamer's hair be?"

*

**[The Digimon Tamer Unique Hair Organization]**

Mimi Tachikawa (with bright pink hair) is hosting the show. "What do you say about respect, Mr. Yagami?"

Taichi Yagami (with his big bushy hair) answers. "Well, my personality forces people to treat me with respect. But the person I really respect is the **CEO** of **4Kids**, because he humiliated the most despicable Anime Series in the world..."

*

"Yeah, we forgot to mention that another key feature on Digimon TV is that they are not keen on Pokémon," Kagami points out.

"That's a massive understatement," Konata protested. "It's not just the Digimons who aren't keen on Pokémon. It's the Americans who associate with Pokémon. According to some Digimons, all American Products are helping the Pokémon's Unjust Cause..."

*

Professor Veemon is telling everyone his opinion.

"Do you know what the drink _**'PEPSI'**_ means? It means _**'Pay Every Pokémon Serving in Iraq'**_. And not just Pepsi. Coca-Cola and all of them are in on it!"

*

"Yep, all American soft drinks are in on the conspiracy. But what does Coca-Cola mean?" asked Kagami.

"I think it means _**'C**ouldn't** O**bviously** C**reate** A C**onspiracy** O**ffering** L**ame** A**cronym**'**_," Konata answers. "Quite powerful evidence to a conspiracy. But the Digimons aren't just targeting icy cold drinks. They're targeting hot drinks as well."

*

Professor Veemon continues his rant.

"Now Starbucks. In case you don't know, their logo has a Star with a woman in it. Now, I believe the star in the logo represents the evil Pokémon Staryu and the woman is the Staryu's evil overlord, Misty. That is enough reason for us to shut down every single Starbucks in the Digi-World"

*

Both Konata and Kagami nodded in agreement. "We want Starbucks to be shut down too," said Kagami. "But just because they taste like crap!"

"And that's all the time we have in this Chapter for what is going on in Digimon TV," said Konata.

*

Meanwhile in Saitama, Fanfic Reader Konata Izumi angrily closed her Internet Browser after reading this fanfic and opens up her Email program to type up an email...

"_Dear PikaFlash, _

_I wish to complain about you making fun of Digimons and their Tamers. How about making fun of Alchemists instead? No one has ever to humiliate them. What a waste of __**FFdotNet's**__ bandwidth._

_Sincerely,  
Konata Izumi  
Saitama" _

Konata sends the email.

**[End Intermission]**

* * *

**[Fanfic Brainstorm]**

With the approval from the top dogs of Tai Enterprises, Konata is now in charge of the new project, codenamed _**'Team Lucky Star'**_ by an unoriginal boss.

Konata enters her new empty office. "This is awesome. Not only do I get my own project, I get my own office to work in." Konata checks the computer. "Nice. Not only do I get a new office, I got the latest computer available. Let's see what this baby can do..."

After a couple of hours on the computer, Konata noticed the time. "Oh yeah, I forgot about the project."

Konata opens her envelope from the Boss. "Oh, it says that I'm allowed to hire 3 Part-Timers for the first month and after that, I can hire an additional Part-Timer every two months. I think I know who to hire first."

Konata picked up her phone...

*

At the Hiiragi Residence, Tsukasa is watching a cooking show on TV. Somehow, the TV Chef bears some resemblance, but she can't quite put her finger on it...

_Brock: "Welcome to my new Cooking Show. My name is Brock Blockhead. Today, I'm going to show you my favorite classic recipe. First, I start off with the olive oil."_

_Brock picks up a bottle of olive oil but spilt some of the oil on the floor._

_Brock: "Oops, better clean that up."_

_Before Brock could clean up the mess, he slips on the olive oil and landed on his back. Brock slowly picked himself off the floor._

_Brock: "Man, who would have thought that olive oil was slippery? I never saw that one coming!"_

The house phone is ringing, so Tsukasa decides to answer the call. "Hello, Hiiragi Residence."

_Konata: "Hey, Tsukasa. Would you like to make some extra cash for your pocket?"_

Tsukasa smiled. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to get some extra money. What do I have to do?"

Back on TV, the TV Chef is now standing in front of an oven.

_Brock: "For this recipe, I had switched on the oven earlier and have left the gas on to prepare for the meal. _

_Brock opens the oven._

_Brock: "And now I light a match."_

_Brock lights a match, followed by an explosion. As the smoke clears, Brock was all burnt up._

_Brock: "Wow, I didn't know that the gas was flammable! That is so cool!"_

*

Kagami is walking down a street when she received a call on her cellphone.

"Hey, Konata."

Konata: "Kagamin, how would you like to make some extra money?"

"If its Anime or Cosplay related, the money better be good."

_Konata: "I put in charge of a project by Tai and I need some helping hands."_

"Wait? Tai as in Taichi Yagami from Digimon? I heard rumors that he became an Egotistical Bastard after Digimon 02 ended."

_Konata: "Oh, he's actually a nice guy. He's awesome at Video Games but you should have seen his face when we were playing a 4-player match Free-For-All when the three of us ganged up on him..."_

"Sorry to interrupt you, Konata. About your offer?"

_Konata: "Right. So, do you want to help me out on my project? Or do you want to meet Tai face-to-face if you accept my offer?"_

"What gave you that idea? So, who else is in on the project?"

_Konata: "Tsukasa and Miyuki have said yes, but Miyuki's currently out of the country, so it's going to be just you and Tsukasa for now. You still interested in my offer?"_

Kagami gave it a bit of thought. _'I'm suppose it would be nice to be working in the same place as Miyuki and Tsukasa. But I have the feeling that Konata will make me Cosplay at the first chance she gets.'_

_Konata: "Last chance, Kagamin..."_

Kagami answered. "The money better be worth it, Konata."

**[End Fanfic Brainstorm]**

* * *

**[What have we learnt from Anime, Konata-Sensei?]**

Konata is standing in front of a blackboard.

"I love watching Anime," said Konata. "But what makes things very interesting is what if these plots ever happen in real life? For example, remember how Amestris invaded Ishbal in **'Hagane no Rekinjusushi'**, or **'Fullmetal Alchemist'** to the Americans? The question now: Have the Ishbalans learnt their lesson if the same people who invaded them try to enter an Ishbalan restaurant unannounced? Well, we got a few Cosplayers together to find out..."

*

**[Test 1: Cliché Alchemists]**

Edward Elric _(played by Konata)_ and his armored brother Alphonse _(played by Naruto)_ walked to the entrance of an Ishbalan restaurant.

"Hello, I am an Alchemist," greeted Konata.

"I can see," said the Ishbalan Maître d'.

"Can I come in?" asked Naruto.

"Certainly."

The Alchemists followed a waitress to their table.

**[Entry Granted]**

*

**[Test 2: Dogs of the Military]**

Roy Mustang _(played by Ash)_ and Riza Hawkeye _(played by Sakura)_ marched into the Ishbalan restaurant.

"We're here to have a meal," said Ash.

"Certainly," said the Maître d'.

"We are also here to meet our Alchemist friends," said Sakura.

"Of course, please, go inside," said the Maître d'.

**[Entry Granted]**

*

**[Test 3: The Führer]**

The person responsible for the Ishbalan genocide, the Führer _(played by Tai)_ walked to the entrance of the Ishbalan restaurant.

"I'm here to meet up with some of my subordinates," said Tai.

"How long have you been here?" asked the Maître d'.

"I've been hiding in Japan since 2003," Tai answered.

"Really?"

"Thank you," said Tai. "Herr me."

The Führer entered into the Ishbalan restaurant without any resistance.

**[Entry Granted]**

*

Meanwhile in Saitama, Fanfic Reader Konata Izumi angrily closed her Internet Browser after reading this fanfic and opens up her Email program to type up an email...

"_Dear PikaFlash, _

_I wish to complain about that recent joke you made about Alchemists. You only seem to be making fun of Digimons and Alchemists. I'd bet you are too gutless to go after the Soul Reapers from Bleach. What a waste of __**FFdotNet's**__ bandwidth._

_Sincerely,  
Konata Izumi  
Saitama" _

Konata sends the email.


	4. Kona makes the World Go Round

Konata is dressed as a Heavily Armored Warrior as she waits under a tree. Suddenly, a bus stopped right at the tree and Konata gets onto the bus.

Konata steps onto the bus. "How much is it to the Cavern of Despair?"

"Sorry, this is the No. 49," said the Bus Driver. "The one you want is the No. 62."

"Oh, my mistake." Konata got off the bus.

* * *

_A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000_

_In association with Tai Enterprises_

_A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project _

*

'**Konata Izumi, Japanese President' & Other Stuff **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A hot-air balloon crash lands in the President's backyard.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Among a huge collection of other Limited Edition Anime Plushies Konata had won. The new Plushie is used for spreading the Gospel.

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Kagamin]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

Shikamaru is having a nap.

**[Special Guest Star: Shikamaru Nara as Sebastian]**

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 1]**

*

**[Episode 4: Kona makes the World Go Round]**

_**Konata's Narration: **__"KonaNet was a disaster. The people are not happy, Vegetable is gloating and my popularity is dropping. So, there's only one thing I can do to get people back on my side..." _

***Konata: "Twitter Time!"***

**[Konata's Twitter Account]**

**KonaKona (3 minutes ago):** "Sorry about the whole KonaNet thing. How about we all go kill Inuyasha?"

**KonaKona (2 minutes ago): **"Sorry. There I go again. But not to worry, Kagamin has given me my medication."

**KonaKona (1 minute ago):** "Heeeeyyy evvverrryyyoonnnneee, let's all live on a mushroooooom."

***Konata: "I'm trippin'!"***

_**Konata: **__"I know Kagamin was drugging me, but I have a much bigger issue than right now. I found out that I ran out of money to spend at the next Anime Convention. So I decided to call the Richest Person in the World: Seto Kaiba. But Seto was not answering the phone, so I decided to call the smartest person in the world: Shikamaru Nara."_

Konata dials a few random numbers.

Shikamaru answers the phone.

_Shikamaru: "Hello?"_

"Hey, Sebastian."

_Shikamaru: "Who is this?"_

"Konata Izumi, President. I just need to know how to make more money."

_Shikamaru: "This is troublesome. Just make a money-making machine. There's nothing in the world that cannot be solved without money."_

"Brilliant! Thanks, Smarty-pants." Konata puts the phone down.

*

_**Konata: **__"Unfortunately, the money-making machine was a bit too expensive, so I decided not to tell Kagamin about my money problems. Luckily I tried my luck at the 100 Million Yen lottery..."_

Konata has won the 100 Million Yen lottery by sheer luck. Konata celebrates her win.

***Konata: "Score!"***

_**Konata: **__"With my sudden windfall, I knew the first thing I needed to do after I got the cash: Go to an Anime Convention."_

Konata is sitting on a bench at an Anime Convention after doing a lot of shopping.

*

_**Konata: **__"Next, I went Jet-gliding."_

Konata is flying around on a Hang-glider with a jet strapped on.

*

_**Konata: **__"And party all night long."_

At KonaHQ, Konata and her friends were partying when lightning struck the building, cutting the power.

"The lights gone out." Konata felt someone touching her legs. "Hey! Who's rubbing their hands on my legs?"

"Wait, those are your legs?"

"Damn, Kagamin! Your hands are cold."

*

The next day, Konata and Kagami are in the President's office.

"We got a big problem, Konata. It looks like President Goku's former nemesis Fat Giovanni is back from the dead."

Konata stood on her desk in a heroic pose. "Then, I guess we need to assemble a crack team of police officers named **S.T.A.R.S** to face this Nemesis and send him back to **Umbrella Corporation** to make them pay for their crimes against humanity!"

Kagami sighed. "I shouldn't have used the word _**'nemesis'**_."

*

_**Konata: **__"To deal with the Nemesis, I needed to collect my new arsenal I bought from the KonaLab."_

Konata frowns. "I don't believe it. You make it so big and yet you can't find the space to fit in 30 different complete collections of Manga inside the cockpit?"

A large Sweatdrop appear behind the Technician. "You never specified that you wanted to have that in there."

Konata sighed. "Fine. If this thing doesn't work, I want a refund because I'm not paying for junk." Konata climbs aboard her very own Giant Mecha. "It would have been nice to have something to personalize the cockpit. Hey, what does this button do?"

Konata pressed the button before anyone could answer...

*

A massive explosion destroyed the 50-Mile Radius around the KonaLab, destroying half the city. Fortunately, it's a problem easily fixed since it's not the first time the city was mostly destroyed, considering the number of massive explosions, numerous Godzilla attacks and Battles between the Tonkatsu Robots and Giant Monsters. Not to mention DBZ-like battles.

***Konata: "Whoopsies."***

_**Konata: **__"Luckily, no one was killed and I got out of the mess unscratched."_

Konata is at an Anime Convention Table giving away free Anime Memorabilia.

"Sorry about destroying half the city, guys," Konata apologizes. "But I'm sure it can be fixed by giving away free Anime Memorabilia. And they're Kona-Tastic!"

**[End of Episode 4]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata: **__"Screw the Presidency! I got money!"_

* * *

**[Yugi Mutou, the Angry Duelist]**

Yugi was working at his desk when Tai walked in.

"Hey, Yugi, what are you working on?" asked Tai.

Yugi looks at Tai and pats Tai's face.

"Let me explain something, Tai. When I am working here, and you come and ask stupid f-ing questions, you are disturbing me and it takes TIME..."

Yugi snaps a pencil.

"...to get BACK..."

Yugi snaps another pencil.

"...to where I WAS..."

Yugi snaps one more pencil.

"...BEFORE!"

Yugi stood up, gave Tai a wedgie and kicked him out of his office. "THANK YOU!"

*

Yugi angrily walked out of his office with an office memo.

"Alright, who wrote this?!"

Ash looked at Yugi. "I think I wrote that memo."

Yugi grabbed Ash by the collar.

"I hate memos! I hate f-ing office memos!" Yugi stuffed the office memo into Ash's mouth. "Eat it!"

*

Yugi enters his office to see a rubber duck and a note reading, 'Welcome to the Team, Yugi' on his desk.

"Alright, what's this?"

Sakura smiled. "It's a welcome gift to say that it's great to have you on the team, Yugi."

Yugi frowned. "I see. Ok, I will only say this once. I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE YOUR PISSY DUCKS WITH NOTES ON MY DESK! Are you f-ing clear?!"

Yugi throws the duck at Sakura's head.

"How would you like it if I put trash all over your desk, huh?!"

Yugi grabs a wastepaper bin and poured out its contents onto Sakura's desk. Yugi then slams the wastepaper bin on Sakura and pushed her out of the office. "And don't take that off!"

*

Konata walked into Yugi's office as Yugi listens to the radio.

"Hey, Yugi, do you mind if I change the radio station?"

Konata changes the channel before Yugi said anything. Then, out of rage, Yugi stood up, picked up the radio and threw it out the window, destroying the radio.

Yugi glares at Konata. "There! Are you happy?! Now no one can listen to it!"

*

Naruto enters Yugi's office with a mug.

"Hey, Yugi, what do you want with your tea?" asked Naruto.

Yugi grabbed Naruto by the collar and dragged him to the tea room.

"With SUGAR..." Yugi pours sugar on Naruto's head.

"...and MILK!" Yugi splashed milk at Naruto's face.

*

At Yugi's office Birthday Party, everyone was celebrating Yugi's birthday, but Yugi was not impressed.

"Happy birthday to Yugi! Happy Birthday to you! YAY!"

Yugi grabbed a pin and burst some balloons. "Get lost!"

"But what about your birthday cake?" asked Konata as she holds the Birthday Cake.

Yugi takes the cake and throws it to Konata's face, shocking everyone in the office.

"Now get back to work you to (bleep!)heads!"

* * *

**[Fanfic Brainstorm]**

Konata and Kagami are in the Lucky Star offices, with Konata and Kagami sitting in front of a TV set playing the PS3.

"Konata, I just realized something. Usually fanfics have at least one or two OCs make an appearance, but right now there hasn't been a single OC who is suppose to appear in the project yet. Why is that?"

Konata relaxed on her seat. "All of the OCs under our employ has been conscripted by the Naruto Team because of their action sequences, so I never got the chance to get any for the Lucky Star Team."

"The original series have a huge shortage of Male characters for something considered to be in the Shonen genre. Why didn't you get any?"

Konata's eyes sparkled. "I was so amazed at how the OCs worked in the action sequences in the Naruto fanfic that it was as thought I was watching the Original Naruto series. That and I completely forgot about it after watching."

Kagami frowned. 'Those Ninjas must have bribed you, otherwise you would have at least a single OC on our team.'

Konata continued her story. "Anyway, the guys over there told me that I was interrupting their sessions and they are willing to lend me an OC

just to get off their backs."

"I see. So, which one of their OCs did you borrow?"

"No idea. They told me they're sending one over once they're done."

Kagami plants her head on her desk. 'They just said that to get rid of you.'

*

Tai and Naruto are sitting in the cafeteria.

"Naruto, is there a reason why you decided not to lend any of the OCs you got to the Lucky Star Team?"

Naruto nods. "Yeah. I just wanted to screw around with the newbies for a bit. But not to worry. I'm kind enough to loan them an OC for a while."

"So, which OC did you send?" asked Tai.

Naruto rubbed his chin. "Well..."

*

Konata and Kagami's game was interrupted by a knock on the door. Tsukasa walked into the office.

"Hey, Tsukasa. Did you get the stuff?" asked Konata.

Tsukasa nods as she holds up two bags of snacks and drinks. "Hopefully there is space for us to keep them in the office, Kona-chan."

Konata looked at the bags. "It's perfect, Tsukasa."

"Oh, and there is someone outside who wants to talk to you, Kona-chan."

Konata walked out the door to find a man waiting outside.

"Are you the OC the Naruto Team have sent?"

"You can call me Daiki for now. I was sent here to help you out for a bit."

"Okay..." Konata rubbed her chin. "I suppose I can come up with your first task..."

*

Daiki is scrubbing the floor of the office toilet. "This is not what I had in mind when I volunteered for this."

**[End Fanfic Brainstorm]**

* * *

**[Anime Case Study]**

At a secret research facility, Shikamaru and Neji were walking down a doorway as Kiba checked through a glass window into a room.

_Konata: "In December 2007, a team of elite Scientists from Konoha have embarked on one of the most important experiments ever undertaken involving Anime characters."_

Next, Neji is doing a medical checkup on Ichigo Kurosaki.

_Konata: "Dubbed _**'The Ichigo Project'**_, the team spent a year monitoring a man known only to them as _**'Ichigo the Soul Reaper'**_ to gain a better understanding of the behavior of the Soul Reapers from Bleach."_

*

Shikamaru is being interviewed at his desk.

"We chose Ichigo at random from the ranks of Soul Society and studied him for 12 months to find out whether or not he has a tendency to violently overreact while being part of a different Anime Series."

*

Dr. Neji taps Ichigo on the knee a few times, only for Ichigo to pick up a chair and bash Neji in the face.

_Konata: "In just weeks, the research team made some startling observations. Filming Ichigo in the communal shower, they noticed that when he was flicked by a wet towel..."_

*

A hidden camera is filming a communal shower, where Naruto is spinning a towel around, preparing to flick the towel at his victim with Lee watching. Once Ichigo walked out of his shower stall with a towel wrapped around his waist, Naruto flicked this towel at Ichigo's backside.

_Konata: "...Ichigo responded by fatally stabbing not only the towel flicker, but a dozen innocent people who had nothing to do with the dispute._

Ichigo picks up his sword Zangetsu and stabs Naruto in the chest, followed by landing a powerful slice at Lee's torso. Then, Choji began to run for his life, only to get cut down by Ichigo. At that moment, Shino walks into the showers, only for him to get stabbed in the stomach by Ichigo. Sasuke tries to sneak out of the showers with stealth, but it was no use as Ichigo sees Sasuke and stabs Sasuke in the heart. Ichigo then remove Sasuke's towel and used it to clean the blood off Zangetsu.

*

_Konata: "And it was similar pattern of behavior when we observed him in the place he was renting. He had real trouble with the neighboring residents. They provoked him by spraying a hose over the fence..."_

On another hidden camera, at the place Ichigo is currently renting in Konoha, Kiba is watering his lawn when he picks something off the ground, only to accidently spray some water at Ichigo.

_Konata: "He immediately responded by performing the __**'Piercer of Heaven'**__."_

In response to getting splashed with water, Ichigo pulls out Zangetsu and shoots a crescent-shaped wave at Kiba, sending Kiba flying to the wall of his house.

*

_Konata: "Even after erecting a wall between the neighbor's home and Ichigo's temporary residence, Ichigo was still troubled when his neighbor's dog defecated on the lawn of Ichigo's rental home."_

Akamaru is outside Ichigo's residence when Ichigo spots a pile of dog poo on the lawn. In response, in his rage, Ichigo utilized his Hollow Mode and personally kills the large dog.

*

_Konata: "Ichigo's responses demonstrates his feelings on the rivalry between the two Anime Series. And then at the dog's funeral, a similar attack occurred..."_

Later, as Kiba mourns the loss of his dog the funeral, Hollow Ichigo returns to finish Kiba off.

*

Back to Shikamaru in his office. "At the end of our research, we were able to conclude that the Soul Reaper is able to function quite normally in society as long as he is in his own Anime series and no one provokes him. But Pika help me when he finds out that I drugged him with steroids to make him go berserk during the tests."

Shikamaru looks up to see a very pissed off Ichigo, who has heard Shikamaru's final statement and has Zangetsu ready to reap Shikamaru's soul...

*

Meanwhile in Saitama, Fanfic Reader Konata Izumi angrily closed her Internet Browser after reading this fanfic and opens up her Email program to type up an email...

"_Dear PikaFlash, _

_You only seem to be making fun of Digimons, Alchemists and Soul Reapers. Why don't you go attack those vicious Pokémons for a change? It's not as though they got anything better to do. What a waste of __**FFdotNet's**__ Bandwidth._

_Sincerely,  
Konata Izumi  
Saitama" _

Konata sends the email.


	5. The N Word

It is very busy in the office and everyone have their attention on the work they are doing. Konata could barely concentrate after working on her project for nearly 4 hours and her attention is starting to fade. She decided to make a trip out of the office to get some coffee.

"Hey guys! I'm going out to get myself some coffee. Anyone wants coffee or tea?" asked Konata.

"Tea!"

"Tea!"

"Coffee!"

"Tea!"

"Coffee!"

"Tea!"

"Coffee!"

"No!"

"Tea!"

"Coffee"

"Tea!"

"No!"

"Ok, milk?" asked Konata.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"No!"

"No!"

"Yes, please!"

"No!"

"Yep!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yep!"

"Ok, sugar?" asked Konata.

"No!"

"Two!"

"One!"

"No!"

"One and a half!"

"Two!"

"Yes!"

"Half!"

"No!"

"Two!"

"One and a half!"

"One!"

"Alrighty then." Konata leaves the office.

Half a minute later, Konata returns to the office while drinking a cup of coffee. Everyone looked at Konata, expecting their orders.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot," Konata apologized as she took a sip of her coffee.

*

Meanwhile, Akira and Shiraishi are at the Lucky Channel set, laughing non-stop...

* * *

_A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000_

_In association with Tai Enterprises_

_A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project _

*

**Konata Izumi's Waste of FFDotNet's Bandwidth **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

*

**[Konata Izumi, Japanese President: Backstory]**

This fanfic is merely a What If Scenario when Konata becomes the President of a country famous for Animes, Games and Otakus.

*

**[Fanfic Brainstorm: Backstory]**

This fanfic focuses on Konata after the Anime has finished and ending up being employed by Tai Enterprises in Fanfiction Projects.

*

**[Backstory on everything else]**

The random scenes are merely random stuffs are mostly done under Konata's supervision.

* * *

**[Fanfic Brainstorm Finale]**

Konata sits up, finding herself in her office at Tai Enterprises with a massive hangover. Konata feels her head.

"That was some wild office party..."

Tsukasa walks into the room with a cup of tea. "Hey, Konata. How are you feeling?

Konata rubs her head. "Other than the massive hangover I'm feeling, I'll live."

Tsukasa gives Konata the cup of tea. "Here. I hear that this tea should help."

"Thanks." Konata takes a sip of the tea. "What time is it?"

Tsukasa looks at the clock. "It's noon."

Konata sighs in content. "Considering that it was a party by the Boss, I'm sure he won't mind me starting a bit later than usual."

After a moment of silence, a nagging feeling has entered Konata's mind. "Somehow I seem to remember that we needed to do something at 2, but I can't quite put my finger on it."

"I'm sure it will come back to you once you clean yourself up."

Konata nods. "You're right, Tsukasa. Maybe a good wash on the face should help."

Before Konata could walk to the bathroom, the office phone rings and Konata quickly answers it. "This is Izumi's office. Oh hey, Sakura. No, everything is all fine over here. Yeah, that was some party last night. Not to worry, everything will be ready on time and everyone will be there. Thanks. Bye."

Konata puts the phone down. "That was Sakura from the Naruto team. Did you know that she shares the same name with Sakura from the CCS team? And her hair has the same pink color as Miyuki's."

It didn't take long for Konata's memory to be put back together. "I just remembered what I forgot. Someone is supposed to pick Miyuki up from the station!"

**[5 Minutes Later...]**

Tsukasa puts the phone down. "She's not answering her phone. I think she's in a tunnel right now."

Konata began to pace around in circles. "Kagami was supposed to pick her up from the station, but she still sleeping. And no offense, but I'm afraid that you might get lost bringing Miyuki to the office! But we need someone in here so that the Boss won't suspect a thing if he happens to drop by while I'm gone." Konata racked her brains for ideas until she got one.

"I got it." Konata turned to Tsukasa. "Where's Kagami?"

"She's having a nap on the sofa, but I think she's still exhausted from last night. I don't think she can do much right now."

Konata sighed. "I just wish I could use her for her body."

*

Meanwhile, Kagami is face down on the office couch, heavily snoring. She is completely exhausted from the previous night's excitement and booze.

*

"Still, I didn't think Kagami had the time to play DDR and beat everyone who challenged her."

Tsukasa pokes her fingers together. "Well, it was meant to be a secret, but Sis was only doing it because she thought it would help her lose weight and after doing it for a few weeks, she became so good at it that she even told me that she thinks she can beat you at the game."

"I guess the Boss made a wise investment in getting a DDR machine." Konata picks up the phone. "And besides, I'd be happy to give Kagami a bonus if she doesn't mind me doing me a favor. Tsukasa, you're in charge until I get back."

As Konata walked to the door, Tsukasa raised her hand. "Kona-chan, what am I suppose to do?"

"Find a way to make Kagami look like me until I get back."

*

Konata is in Satoshi's (Ash Ketchum's) office. "I need a ride to the station."

Satoshi is at his desk. "You want a ride, you got it. Just need to check which is available in the downstairs garage."

Konata watched Satoshi typed a few things on his computer.

"I didn't know you can find out which vehicle is available. In fact, I never noticed it when I went through my office computer."

"We can't just let anyone borrow a vehicle without us knowing, for insurance purposes."

"Okay, so which one can I borrow?"

Satoshi looked at the details. "Right now, you can either borrow the _**'StormMobile'**_ or _**'Bad Tai'**_."

Konata has no clue what Satoshi is talking about. "_**'StormMobile'**_? _**'Bad Tai'**_?"

Satoshi smiled. "No offense, but since you're new here, we can only allow you to borrow either those two vehicles simply because if anything happens to those two vehicles, we can still get the insurance money."

"I suppose I can take any car, since I got my license." Konata then said, "Come to think of it, how do you guys commute to work?"

"I borrow my girlfriend's motorbike since we have a garage to park in. But Sakura would get here by roller blades on most days. But Tai's method of travel is kinda eccentric compared to the average person, so I won't go into huge details."

"So, does Tai actually drive a fancy car to work?"

Satoshi shakes his head. "With the way Gas Prices are, he wouldn't even drive 'his fancy car' on a workday. In fact, these days, he's too cheap to take public transport. How he gets here is way beyond the comprehension of any normal human being. In short, don't ask."

Konata began to slowly move to the door. "Well, you lost me at Gas Prices..."

*

Miyuki has exited the train station when a red car suddenly pulls over in front of Miyuki. The driver steps out of the car and removes her Sunglasses as the wind blows on her long messy blue hair.

"Goodness, Konata. I didn't know you got yourself an expensive car."

"It's not my car," Konata explained. "It originally belonged to my boss before he decided to let it collect dust. I thought it would be a waste to do that so I decided to take it out for a spin."

Miyuki looked at the number plate on the back of the car. "Is that why the number plate reads _**'Bad Tai'**_ in English?"

"Well, I heard that the boss took a lot of effort to get that Personalized Number plate registered. So I say that this baby has got character. It even has an iPod dock installed."

Konata takes out her iPod and plugs it in. The first song on the iPod's shuffle was _**'Hare Hare Yukai'**_ and it was playing really loud.

Miyuki covered her ears. "Don't you think the music is a bit loud, Konata?"

"This baby has sweet subwoofers, enabling me to enjoy my Anime Music in its purist sound when I'm driving!"

**[Random Tip: **"If you happen to knock someone over in _**'Bad Tai'**_, there's a fake Driver's license for you to use. It helps throw the cops off while you make a run for it. The Fake Name always throws the cops off very badly by trying to correctly pronounce the name."**]**

*

Konata and Miyuki arrived at the office where Tsukasa is waiting and Kagami is finally awake. The team is met by their supervisor...

"Alright, everyone. I'll just introduce myself so that you'll know who I am. I'm Satoshi Kastumoto, better known as Ash Ketchum outside Japan. A recent change in the structure has given me responsibility your team. This means if you need anything or you need help with a problem, I'm the first person you must talk to. Are we clear?"

Everyone else in the room said "Yes."

Satoshi sends a nod to Konata. "Konata, I'll leave everything to you to deal with the casting and setups. I'll handle the red tape."

*

Later, Konata takes a deep breath. She looked at her best friends with confidence. Miyuki is smiling, Tsukasa is holding some cue cards and Kagami simply leans on the wall, with her arms crossed.

Miyuki smiles at Konata. "I hope you got everything you need, Konata."

"Good luck, Kona-Chan," said Tsukasa.

Konata looked at Kagami, expecting. Kagami gives off a smirk. "Well, give them hell, Konata."

Konata nods and gives the thumbs up. "I will. And thanks for helping me, everyone."

Konata calmly walked through the door as she moves on to the next bit of the Fanfic...as **'Konata Izumi, Japanese President'**.

**[End of Fanfic Brainstorm Finale]**

* * *

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A hot-air balloon crash lands in the President's backyard.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Among a huge collection of other Limited Edition Anime Plushies Konata had won. The new Plushie is used for spreading the Gospel.

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

Vegeta is sitting in the back seat of a car.

**[Special Guest Star: Vegeta as Big Head Vegetable]**

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 1]**

*

**[Episode 5: The N Word]**

_**Konata's Narration:**__ "Everything is back to normal after I destroyed half the City. Quite an easy task, considering that we had everything prepared just in case of Giant Mecha and Monster battles."_

Konata is at a construction site greeting construction workers. Konata addressed the Press.

"Good thing we had plenty of materials in reserve in case we get attacked by Godzilla again," said Konata.

*

_**Konata:**__ "But back on the home front, all hell has broken loose. Or Broken-Chu, because Vegetable has accused me of taking Bribes from a Nintendo Executive. What bribes? All I did was being friendly with my Predecessor's Pikachu."_

Konata is having a chat with Pikachu.

_**Konata:**__ "Plus it is because of Pikachu I was able to access my new High Tech Mobile Office."_

Pikachu gives Konata some keys to a van that Konata could use as her High Tech Mobile Office.

*

_**Konata:**__ "Vegetable's _**'proof'**_ that I was accepting bribes was from an Email he received."_

Vegeta is at a press conference holding a printout of an Email. "This is proof that President Izumi is taking bribes! An email from Pikachu to Konata..."

_**Konata:**__ "What a Plot twist! My new friend is the one betraying me? Could it be...?"_

*

**[Flashback]**

It was late at night at **KonaHQ **and Konata switched on the light in her office.

"Yeah, and I threw Kagamin's pancakes onto the wall. Gee, I hope no one is listening to this. Why is there a microphone in my Curry?"

Outside, Pikachu is listening to the listening device he planted inside Konata's office.

*

_**Konata:**__ "Action had to be taken, so I called in my hit squad to take out Pikachu."_

Konata is in a dark room with a group of armed Bonta-Kuns. The President begins to explain her detailed plan to her subordinates.

"Alright, the plan is to corner Pikachu in his hole and blast him with my Uzis," Konata explains. "Like this..."

*

Konata blasts a round of bullets into Pikachu's hiding hole as Pikachu runs for his life.

"Pika pi kachu pi pi chu pikachu pi?!" _("What the hell did I do to offend you?!")_

*

_**Konata: **__"Even after my brutal hit on the yellow rodent, Vegetable is still out for blood, with his sights on my new ally, Advisor Tracey Kenji Sketchit, who is not helping me one bit."_

Konata is reprimanding Tracey.

"What the hell were you thinking, getting a Shiny Pokémon from Nintendo, Kenji?" asked Konata.

Tracey pokes his fingers together. "But I like Shiny things..."

Konata sends an angry glare at Tracey. "I'm going you a big Shiny Kick to the head if you don't stop!"

"Please don't," pleads Tracey

_**Konata: **__"I fired Tracey on the spot and gave the Advisor role to my friend Miyuki Takara, since she's much better as an Advisor than a Pokémon Main Character Wannabe, but not before giving Tracey the appointed dental treatment meant for Miyuki as part of the Dental Plan..."_

*

Konata has forced Tracey into a dental clinic and chained Tracey to the chair. She pulls out a drill.

"No, don't drill my teeth, Ms. President! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

*

_**Konata: **__"And to add salt to Tracey's wound, I decided to cosplay as Franziska Von Karma from Ace Attorney, complete with Whip."_

Konata is holding a whip as Tracey is tied to a pole...

***Konata: Konata Von Karma owns all of you!***

_**Konata: **__"To ensure that no one pins the blame on me, I decided to put all the blame on Kagamin."_

Konata is on Live TV in her office addressing the public. "It's all Kagami Hiiragi's fault. Thank you very much."

*

_**Konata: **__"With Kagamin in a Media Shitstorm, I decided to head to an Anime Convention to find answers..."_

Konata is sitting on a bench at an Anime Convention after doing a lot of shopping. Out of boredom, Konata pulls out a piece of paper from her pocket and reads it. It turns out to be a copy of the email Vegeta has received, the one that claims that Konata is being bribed.

"Wait a minute. **K_Izumi_666(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)jp** is not my email address. This _**'proof'**_ that Vegetable has on me is a fake!"

*

_**Konata:**__ "It turns out that Vegetable has nothing on me. Everything is back to normal and I'm feeling like a newly released Anime Episode."_

Konata is sitting at her desk with Kagami.

"Did you see how Vegeta tried to catch me off guard?" asked Konata. "It was so not-Kona-Tastic, but I'll email him!"

**[End of Episode 5]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Kagami: **__"Did I even have a line in this episode?"_

* * *

_Konata: "This segment has been brought to you by __**'Mallet & Fan'**__." _

People are in a Café having coffee, tea and soft drinks.

_Konata: "Whether it's a Cosplay Café..."_

Waitress Konata is serving drinks to the customers dressed as Hinata Hyuga from Naruto.

_Konata: "A hotel."_

Tsukasa is lying down on a hotel bed having a quick nap.

_Konata: "Or a hotel owned by a Cosplay Café."_

Concierge Miyuki is at the Concierge Desk while Cosplaying as Sakura Haruno from Naruto.

_Konata: "Either way, we're in it for the money."_

Security Guard Kagami evicts a troublesome customer while wearing a Charmander suit.

"Just because I'm in a Charmander Suit doesn't mean I'm Cosplaying!" Kagami retorted to the cameraman. "Now delete that footage or I'll delete it myself!"

**[Mallet & Fan Cosplay Café and Hotel]**

*

Konata, Miyuki, Kagami and Tsukasa are sitting on a sofa.

Konata greets the readers. "Hey, everyone. It's nice for all four of us to be on the couch together."

Miyuki nods. "I agree. But the big question we are talking about right now is _**'Outsourcing'**_."

"What is outsourcing?" asked Tsukasa.

"Outsourcing is how Companies pays someone else to do something for you," Konata explains. "From IT Helplines to Call Centers, it's the cost-cutting measure commonly seen around the world."

Kagami sighs. "Sadly, we are not immune from Outsourcing either so we have no choice but to outsource the rest of this fanfic to the **Poké Star Team** in Goldenrod, Johto."

*

**[Poké Star: Starring Kona-Chu and Friends]**

Kona-Chu (Pikachu), Miyu-Risu (Pachirisu), Kaga-Sle (Plusle) and Tsuka-Nun (Minun) are sitting in a classroom.

"Thanks guys," said Kona-Chu as her ahoge shook. "Onto our first topic. What do you think about spam-emails, everyone?

"Well, I find them interesting to read, Kona-Chu," said Miyu-Risu. "I sometimes answer those emails to see if I actually won something."

"Errr, Miyu-Risu, they do that to steal your details and use it for illegal purposes," said Kaga-Sle.

"They do?" asked Tsuka-Nun. "I read them and I had to reply. I was hoping that I would win an iPod."

Kaga-Sle is shocked. "What? You too? I find those emails really annoying!"

Kona-chu grinned. "Same. But come to think of it, I hear that Spam Emails only affect product sales by 0.1% (percent). So, I wonder, will it be much more effective if they go Door-to-Door?"

*

Kona-Chu pressed a doorbell and the occupant answers the door.

"Yeah, I'm with _**PokéBank Internet Banking**_ and we are currently doing an upgrade on our website, so would you mind giving me your Username and Password, for security purposes?"

*

Kona-Chu is at another home. "Hi, I happen to be the cousin of the _**President of Nigeria**_ and we currently need to move _**US$40 Million**_ to a safe location due to the Country's political instability, so if you could give us your banking details, we will give you a 1% (percent) of the money guaranteed."

*

Kona-Chu is at another home. "Are you interested in _**Crazy Smexy Meganekkos **_or _**Barely Legal Meganekkos**_?"

*

Kona-Chu knocks at another door. "Hi, are you interested in _**Herbal Remedies**_ that can help increase the size of your P..."

*

Meanwhile in Saitama, Fanfic Reader Konata Izumi angrily closed her Internet Browser after reading this fanfic and opens up her Email program to type up an email...

"_Dear PikaFlash, _

_There you go, attacking Digimons, Alchemists, Soul Reapers and Pokémons! I'd bet you've never had the courage to make jokes about the Schoolgirls in Lucky Star. What a waste of __**FFdotNet's**__ Bandwidth._

_Sincerely,  
Konata Izumi  
Saitama" _

Konata sends the email.


	6. Time's Up

This fanfic has been brought to you by McAnimes. Can you say the **McAnimes Big Mallet Burger** chant?

Konata: _"Two wholesome, taste enriched..."_

Minami: _"Meat patties..."_

Hiyori: _"Farmed from all natural Brazilian rainforests, with..."_

Miyuki: _"Top secret laboratory sauce addictive..."_

Tsukasa and Kagami: _"Green colorant 241 salad, with genetically modified..."_

Konata: _"Mayonnaise."_

Minami: _"And cheese lovingly processed..."_

Hiyori: _"In real factories on a sugar drenched bun with an average of..."_

Miyuki: _"49 sesame seed substitutes..."_

Konata: _"Cleared by the Food Directors Association for human consumption."_

The McAnimes chant, where we show that we care for our customers...

**[McAnimes: The only place to eat in the Anime World.]**

_A Subsidiary Eatery of KeroCorp..._

* * *

A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000

In association with Tai Enterprises

A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project

*

**Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuff **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A hot-air balloon crash lands in the President's backyard.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Among a huge collection of other Limited Edition Anime Plushies Konata had won. The new Plushie is used for spreading the Gospel.

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

Goku is on a morning stroll along a street.

**[Special Guest Star: Goku as Former President Goku]**

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 1]**

*

**[Episode 6: Time's Up]**

_**Konata's Narration: **__"All of the fighting has come to a head. In an act of stupidity and bastardry, Vegetable has gone and got his own High-Tech Mobile Office to attack my spending..."_

Vegeta is at a press conference in front of his mobile office. "President Izumi has given this country a **US$5 Billion Debt Bombshell**!"

_**Konata:**__ "That is a lie! The correct amount is about __**US$4.9 Billion**__. But still, everyone will have to tighten their belts."_

*

_**Konata:**__ "Except for me. Because I just solved the problem on my end and I had to tell my new buddy, President Derek."_

Konata dials a random number. She gets President 'Derek' from America.

"Hey, Derek! How's your economy doing?"

'_Derek': "Well, it's..."_

Konata interrupts 'Derek'. "Let me guess. Not going so well, eh? Well, boo hoo! My economy is doing so well because we have lots of Anime!"

'_Derek': "Who is this?"_

"You can call me Haruhi!"

'Derek' hangs up.

"Hello?"

***Konata:** _"I can do an awesome Haruhi!"_*

Konata is walking into a plane.

**Konata: **_"To celebrate my success, I'm planning a plane trip that will cost as much as humanly possible..."_

***Konata: **_"Twitter Time!"_*

**KonaKona (5 minutes ago):** "Konata's leaving on a jet plane and it's going to cost you heaps of cash!"

**KonaKona (2 minutes ago): **"Sitting in first class. I feel like my best friend Miyuki. Come to think of it, I wonder if Miyuki would be able to Cosplay as Sakura Haruno at the Staff Cosplay Party."

**KonaKona (1 minute ago):** "My seat is stuck! Well, if I arrive with a stiff neck, I'm going to fling a Pikachu at someone's face!"

*

In the plane, Konata points at a map to show everyone her travel plans. "Here's my current route for my world trip. First we go to Washington, then a side-trip to Vegas, then to London, next Sydney, back to Vegas, and then back to Sydney. And if we got time, the North and South Pole."

*

_**Konata: **__"Meanwhile, there was still a ticking time-bomb back in Japan. It turns out that Vegetable has an actual bomb! And he knew the game was up and his only option was to blow everyone from Tokyo to the moon."_

Vegeta is pressing a few buttons on a panel, arming the bomb he has revealed.

*

_**Konata: **__"In my trip to America, I decided to get my best hitman to deal with Vegetable."_

Konata is at Bandai's American HQ, shaking hands with Former President Goku.

"I need you to get rid of Vegetable," Konata requested.

Goku shakes his head. "I don't think I can. I'm too hungry to deal with this shit."

_**Konata: **__"Looks like I have to do it myself. And I'm going to have to do everything else in one day."_

*

_**Konata: **__"Card Dueling."_

Konata is wearing a duel disk.

*

_**Konata: **__"Pokémon Battling."_

Konata tosses a PokéBall.

*

_**Konata: **__"And Cosplaying."_

Konata is in a the largest Photo Op we could think of with a group of Cosplayers dressed up as Ash, Misty, Brock, Tracey, May, Max, Dawn, Tai, Sora, Matt, Izzy, Joe, Mimi, TK, Kari, Davis, Yolei, Cody, Ken, Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo, Meiling, Eriol, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji, Neji, Lee, Tenten, Yugi, Joey, Tristan and Téa.

*

_**Konata: **__"...before arriving back to Japan in the nick of time. I found Kagamin who gave me the location of the bomb in an abandoned building."_

Konata has finally returned to Japan to deal with Vegeta's bomb. Konata pulls Kagami through a corridor of the abandoned building.

"Come on, Kagamin! We have to disarm the bomb before it blows!"

"Yeah, yeah. I hope you know what you're doing."

Konata walks into the room where the bomb is located. "Looks like we made it just in time, Kagamin. The bomb will explode in 3 seconds."

"What?"

*

The bomb explodes, causing an explosion that shook the building.

"**KONATA!"**

*

Once the smoke clears, Kagami searches through the rubble for survivors. "Konata! Where are you? Konata!"

*

An uninjured Kagami is at a press conference. "The good news is that no one died. The bad news is that President Izumi is trapped under 10 feet of rubble..."

**[To be Continued...]**

**[End of Episode 6]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata:**__ "How's that for a Series 1 Kona-Tastic Cliffhanger?"_

* * *

Konata was having a sleepover at the Hiiragi's household. Konata, Kagami and Tsukasa were having a pillow fight.

Konata stopped the fighting. "Stop! Stop! I think I got a better game. Let us play Truth or Dare!"

Tsukasa is excited at Konata's idea. "Ohhhhh. Who wants to ask first?"

Kagami raised her hand. "I will. Konata, truth or dare?"

Konata gave it a bit of thought. "Truth," she answered.

Kagami had the question she was thinking off. "When was your first kiss?"

Konata blushed. "This is a bit embarrassing. Can I pick dare instead?"

"Come on, just tell us. Is it Sebastian?"

Konata begins her story. "Well, it's a bit of a long story since it happened in Junior High. I wanted to take cute boy to the school dance as a date, since he's fond of Anime. But he told me that he was too busy. So one day, I secretly followed him home, then snuck up into his bedroom and then, as I saw him reading Manga at his desk, I picked up this big book nearby and hit him on the head a few times. Then, after a few hits, I took a look at his bleeding body and he looked so cute that I kissed him in the cheek."

A skeptical Kagami and a fearful Tsukasa could only stare at Konata, wondering if what she said was true or not.

* * *

**[In Other News...]**

Miyuki and Konata are sitting at a news desk.

"Welcome to _**'In Other News'**_. I'm Miyuki Takara."

"And I'm Konata Izumi."

Miyuki smiled at the camera. "I have been travel overseas many times and I love to learn a bit of the local language to make the experience more enjoyable."

Konata nods. "Of course, American Tourists never bother to learn the local language. Which was why I was able to beat the crap out of one. All they could ask is _**'Do you speak English?'**_ very loudly. But this problem isn't just isolated in Japan. Even when an American travels to an English-speaking country, Americans have trouble understanding the accent. Patricia Martin is in London, investigating this problem."

*

**[London, England]**

In a park, Patricia is holding a map when a Ginger-haired woman is walking by.

"Excuse me, but do you speak English at all?" asked Patty.

The woman nods. "Yes, I speak English. I'm English."

Patty didn't get what the woman said. "Excuse me? I can't understand you at all. I'm from America. Do you speak English?"

"I speak English."

Patty points at her map. "I need directions. Can you speak English?"

"Yes, I speak English."

Patty emphasized her words. "I'm... trying... to... go..."

"There's no need to go slowly. I can understand you," said the woman.

Suddenly, Card Captor Sakura's Eriol Hiragizawa walks up to Patty.

"Do you want me to translate for you?" Eriol asked, in an American accent.

"Oh please. Ask her how I can go to _(bleep!)_." Patty nods.

Eriol then speaks to the woman in a British accent. "She wants to know how she can go to _(bleep!)_"

"Okay." The confused woman looks at the map. "If you take the Underground, it would only be three stops from here."

Eriol nods and _'translates'_ what the woman said to Patty in his American accent. "She said it's three subway stations away."

Patty nods. "Okay. Three stops. I like to know her name because I want to thank her."

Eriol nods looks at the British woman and thanked the woman in a British accent. "She said, _**'Thank you very much...'**_"

"Ginny," the woman answered.

Eriol nods. "Ginny."

Patty sends a bow to Ginny. "Thank you, Ginny-san," Patty said in Japanese.

Ginny is now confused. 'Wait a minute. Aren't you supposed to be American?'

* * *

**[Post Lucky*Star Snippet - Sequel to Fanfic BrainStorm]**

"Congratulations for a job well done, Konata. Your project has been given the green light for Series 2."

Satoshi and Konata walked out of an office building and entered a red car with the Licence Plate _"Bad Tai"_.

Konata as sits at the driver's seat, she did not show any sign of happiness, giving Satoshi a cause for concern.

"What's wrong, Konata?"

"Well, I'm happy for completing the project and getting the green light to do the next series. But I do feel guilty over Izzy. After all, the Budget for Series 2 came when Tai had to close down Izzy's department."

"I see," said Satoshi. "Look, Izzy will be fine. He's a computer genius. I'm sure he can get a job elsewhere."

Konata did not smile. "I know, but when I saw the look on Izzy's face, he was so disappointed. I'm sure he'll hate the fact that he lost his job because a girl like me is responsible."

A depressed Izzy is on the top of the office building standing at the edge.

Satoshi looked at Konata. "We did give him notice a couple of weeks ago, but he thought we were joking. I can assure you that its not your fault, so you don't have to feel guilty about it. It's your day and you should enjoy it."

Konata began to smile. "But I will keep this car, right?"

"Yep. This car is officially yours. Though you might need to do something about the licence plate. And you deserve a drink, on me."

Konata slips on a pair of sunglasses. "Alright, let's roll."

As Konata drives off, Izzy jumps off the building...

* * *

**[Ending Song: "Hot Girl in the Manga Shop" - Written by Pikachu, Agumon & KeroBeros - The Anime House Soundtrack - Tai Enterprises Records]**

Pikachu jumps out from behind a bookshelf.

Pikachu: _"There was a hot girl in the Manga shop,  
And I didn't know what to do.  
There was a hot girl in the Manga shop,  
And she was reading a book starring Goku."_

Konata was reading a Dragon Ball Manga. Then, Agumon and Kero were reading Manga back to back.

Agumon/Kero: _"There was an actual girl in the Manga shop  
What am we meant to say?  
I had to check to make sure that she wasn't just,  
A human-sized cardboard display."_

Konata sees Pikachu, Kero and Agumon and waves at the trio.

Pikachu: _"My competition was a kid with a big sword," _

The kid is reading a game magazine as he carries a big sword on his back.

Pikachu: _"And a guy in a wheel chair."_

Agumon and Kero were removing air from the wheel of the wheelchair.

Pikachu: _"So I know I had to act fast."_

Pikachu, Kero and Agumon began to make themselves impressive to Konata reads a volume of Naruto.

Pikachu: _"So many questions in my mind..."_  
Kero: _"What would be a good pickup line?"_  
Agumon: _"Why had a hot girl just come in?"_  
Pikachu: _"If an EVA fought a Gundam?"_

Pikachu/Kero/Agumon: _"Who would win?"_

The trio paused and grouped together.

Agumon: _"Good question."_

Konata looked confused.

Pikachu: _"I guess the Gundam's advantage would be flying in space."  
_Kero: _"And their strength against armies of Zakus."_  
Agumon: _"But the EVAs use the strength of their pilot's plugsuit."_  
Kero: _"And the Earth has less things to worry about..."_

Kero, Pikachu and Agumon looked up only to see Konata walk out the exit.

*

Pikachu, Agumon and Kero are now alone in the Manga shop.

Pikachu: _"There was a hot girl in the Manga shop._ (Agumon/Kero: Wooooooo...)  
_Just a minute ago.  
There was a hot girl in the Manga shop. _(Agumon/Kero: Wooooooo...)  
_Did anyone see her go?  
Has she come to our Manga shop, looking for love?  
Guess I'll never know..."_

**[Song Ends]**


	7. Haruhi Walks

Konata and Kagami are sitting at a café being served by Satoshi.

"Here's your drink," Satoshi puts a glass of Lemonade on the table in front of Konata. Satoshi then placed a fork, knife, a napkin and a plate of fish right in front of Kagami. "And I believe this is yours."

Kagami shook her head. "No, I actually ordered soda."

"Oh, I must have heard wrong." Satoshi picked up the fish, knife, fork and napkin.

*

Meanwhile, Akira and Shiraishi are at the Lucky Channel set, laughing non-stop...

* * *

A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000

In association with Tai Enterprises

A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project

*

**Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuff **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

**[Previously on Konata Izumi, J.P.]**

_**Konata: **__"Back in Japan, it turns out that Vegetable has an actual bomb!"_

Vegeta is pressing a few buttons on a panel.

*

Konata has finally returned to Japan to deal with Vegeta's bomb. Konata pulls Kagami through a corridor.

"Come on, Kagamin! The bomb's this way!"

"Yeah yeah. I hope you know what you're doing."

"By the way, Kagamin. The bomb will explode in 3 seconds."

"What?"

*

The bomb explodes, causing an explosion that shook the building.

"**KONATA!"**

*

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A car crashed through a shopping mall.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]**

Konata climbs into a submarine.

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

**[And Tsukasa Hiiragi as the Other Twin]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Tonton is wearing a professor's coat and goggles.

**[Special Guest Star: Tonton as Admiral Oink]**

A Pikachu is water-skiing...

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 2]**

*

Darkness...

_**Konata: **__"Is this the end of __**Konata Izumi, Japanese President**__? You know, they say that your life flashes before your eyes before you are about to die..."_

**[Konata's Flashes]**

_**Konata: **__"My life as an Otaku..."_

Konata is sitting on a bench at an Anime Convention after doing a lot of shopping.

_**Konata: **__"Taking every opportunity to force Kagami to Cosplay..."_

Kagami is modeling in Sakura Kinomoto's Winter School Uniform from Card Captor Sakura as Konata clapped.

_**Konata: **__"Abusing my power..."_

Konata sends an angry glare at Kenji. "I'm giving you a big Shiny Kick to the head if you don't stop!"

_**Konata: **__"Not to mention that I had other plans before Vegetable ruined it all. I had planned to meet my American Heroes: Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Stuart Little Mouse..."_

*_**Konata: **__"Don't forget that I even add in a few quips in between scenes..."_*

*_**Konata: **__"Twitter Time!"_*

*_**Konata: **__"Konata Von Karma owns you all!"_*

*_**Konata: **__"I can do an awesome Haruhi!"_*

Konata opened her eyes in the darkness, making a quick realization from that last quip.

"Wait a minute. I'm the Main Character of a hit Anime Series. I can't die that easily. Time for some **Haruhi Ex Machina**!"

*

**[Episode 7: Haruhi Walks]**

_**Konata's Narration: **__"It turns out that I'm not dead. In fact, I am the Second Coming, with the first being Haruhi..."_

Konata is walking into **KonaHQ**. "Hey, everybody! I'm back!"

*

_**Konata: **__"And to celebrate my resurrection, I decided to call my favorite Michael Jackson impersonator, Orochimaru."_

Konata dialed a few random numbers, but there was no answer.

"Geee, I hope nothing happened to Orochimaru."

*

_**Konata: **__"I decided to consult my scientific advisor, Professor Admiral Oink, for advice on how to celebrate..."_

Konata is in a lab with a pig wearing a lab coat and goggles.

"So, Admiral Oink, what do you suggest?" asks Konata.

"Oink."

"Oh, so you're thinking I should get my own TV show?"

"Oink."

"Sure thing. I'll get straight to it right away..."

*

_**Konata: **__"So I went and got myself my own Lifestyle TV show..."_

_-Insert Dr. Phil theme-_

**[Dr. Kona]**

Konata is on stage. "Alright, time for us to begin my new show with a question. Who wants to kill me?"

"Me!" "Me!" "I do!" "Go and die, Ms. President!"

"Oh crap," mumbled Konata. Konata turns her attention to Kagami, who happens to be the stagehand. "By the way, has Orochimaru called back yet?"

***Konata: **_"This KonaVision Program is brought to you by __**McAnimes**__, the only place to eat in the Anime World!"_*

Konata is at her desk with Tsukasa holding some books. "Man, what an episode. I just came back to life, hosted my own TV show and have people trying to kill me."

Tsukasa smiled. "Well, I'm glad you're still alive, Kona-chan."

Konata gives the thumbs up. "Of course. I had a Kona-Tastic time, Tsukasa!"

**[End of Episode 7]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata: **__"Where am I?" (Poof of smoke...)_

* * *

Kagami walks into a bookshop where Satoshi is at the counter.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for the newest volume of Negima, but I can't seem to find it. Can you help me?"

Satoshi nods. "Sure."

Satoshi walks into the storeroom and after a while of finding things in the backroom, Satoshi walks out of the storeroom with a fish on a plate and puts it in front of Kagami.

* * *

At the Ryoo High School Gymnasium, Nanako Kuroi is waiting for her students to leave the locker rooms to play Basketball for PE.

Tsukasa and Miyuki walked out of the locker rooms, dressed in their sports attire, ready for their PE class.

However, Konata walks out of the change room dressed in a red suit and white beard carrying a bag full of presents.

Nanako frowned. "Izumi, I said you'd be playing **Center**..."

* * *

**[Post Lucky*Star Snippet]**

Konata, Yui and Yutaka were walking in a shopping mall when Konata looked into her shopping bag.

"Damn, they gave me the wrong DVD. I'm going to have to go back and get the right one. I'll meet you guys back here in five minutes."

As Konata runs off, Yui saw the sign pointing towards the Ladies' toilets. "Yutaka, do you mind waiting here for me while I make a quick dash to the Ladies'?"

Yutaka is left alone with the bags in front of an oversized UFO Catcher. Yutaka looked to see what Plushies are available for grabs. "Oh, that's a cute Pikachu Plushie. I want it." Yutaka walked towards the coin machine...

**[5 Minutes Later...]**

Yui and Konata returned to find the shopping bags left alone. A panicked Yui began to walk around in circles. "Oh no. Where's Yutaka?"

"Calm down, Yui-neesan! She must be nearby if the bags are still here."

Then, a knock nearby attracted the cousins' attention. They find Yutaka trapped inside the oversized UFO Catcher.

"Help me, Onee-chan! Konata-neesan!"

"How the HELL did you get in there?!" Yui screamed.

Yutaka is in tears. "I don't know. I somehow ended up in here when they filled it with more Plushies."

"Right now, we need to rescue Yutaka!" Yui makes a dash to the coin machine. After getting the change, Yui prepares to rescue her little sister.

"Don't worry. Your big sister is coming to your rescue!"

Yutaka points at the console. "Nee-san, that button..."

"No worries. I know what the buttons do." Yui puts the money and attempts to use the claw to grab Yutaka. _(Considering Yutaka's small stature in an oversized UFO Catcher, it's possible)_ However, being on a skill level way below Konata's, Yui could only get a few near misses while trying to grab Yutaka.

Yui groaned as her attempt failed once more. "Not again! Could you try not to move, Yutaka? Every time I try to grab you, the claws can't seem to get a good grip."

Konata grinned. "Well, it's time for an expert to step in. If you don't mind..."

Yui stood aside so that Konata can take control the claw to rescue her cousin. Yui points at a button on the console. "That button..."

Konata rolled her eyes. "I know what the buttons do, Yui-neesan. And I can do it without the author telling the readers how I'll get the job done."

* * *

Kagami is performing surgery in the Operating Theater with a group of surgeons.

"BP is 125/80."

"Core Temperature is falling!"

Kagami nods. "Alright, I need forceps, now!" Kagami raised her hand, waiting for her tool...

One of the surgeons gives Kagami a fish.

* * *

**[Portions not affecting the outcome of this fanfic have not been included...here's one of them now:]**

Satoshi and Konata were watching TV while sitting on the couch. The TV made cartoon-type noises like the spring, the drum sounds, the homerun strikes, beating sounds, explosions, mallet smashing, followed by a cartoon finale sound effect.

Then Konata looked at Satoshi. "You're right, Satoshi. **4Kids** butchered Pokémon so much that if they had dubbed Lucky Star, it would have never made it to America."

Satoshi nods. "Of course. That's how Anti-Japanese **4Kids** are. Tokyo Mew Mew became Mew Mew Power and OniGiri became Jelly Donuts. Pika knows what would happen if you guys got the **4Kids** Treatment."

Konata shudders at the thought. "I don't even want to imagine it..."

Satoshi and Konata continued watching TV while drinking their drinks.


	8. Vertical Limit Break

Kagami and Tsukasa were waiting at a café when Tsukasa pulls out a PS3 Game from her shopping bag. "Guess what I was able to get for Kona-chan."

Kagami looks at the game. "Oh my god! I saw the ads on TV for that game. Konata will die when she sees you holding that."

Kagami and Tsukasa looked up and saw Konata walking towards the Café.

"Kona-Chan, look what I got for you!"

The moment Konata sees the PS3 Game in Tsukasa's hands; Konata suddenly loses her breath and dropped lifelessly to the ground.

* * *

**[New Style Intro]**

_**Voice-Over:**__ "Welcome to Konata Izumi's Programme, spelt the French way with 2 Ms and an E, with guest stars:"_

"_Takuya Kanbara"_

"_Kim Possible"_

"_Yugi Mutou"_

"_The Winx Club Dancers"_

"_Duo Maxwell"_

"_The Rugrats Orchestra"_

"_Bit Cloud"_

"_Hikari Yagami"_

"_Tyson Kinomiya"_

"_Shinobu Maehara"_

"_Hikaru Shindou"_

"_The Flying Teen Titans"_

"_Harry Potter"_

"_The PPGZ Band"_

"_Krillin"_

"_Daisuke and Takato"_

"_And with music by the girls from Totally Spies!"_

_**Voice-Over: **__"And now, we present...the What-Her-Face!"_

Konata is brought into the Studio by paramedics on an ambulance trolley. Konata got off the trolley and thanked Paramedics Minami Iwasaki, Kagami and Tsukasa.

"Thank you for coming onto the show, guys," said Konata. "And your annual Paramedic Appeal is coming up this weekend, right?"

"Actually, your producer flagged us down while we were on our way to a three-car pile up," Kagami explained.

"I see. But before you leave, are you paramedics aware of the Paramedic's Dance?"

The paramedics are confused. They never even heard of this dance.

Kagami shakes her head. "Errr...no. Never even heard of it."

"Oh, you're just shy." Konata looks at the audience. "Do you want to see them do the Paramedic's Dance?"

The audience cheered as "Caramelldansen" is being played. The paramedics gave each other awkward looks before they decided to dance to the music for a bit to make the situation less awkward, but after a few seconds, Kagami decides that it's time to leave.

Kagami then stops dancing. "You know what; I think we better go now."

Konata nods. "Sure. See you guys."

As the Paramedics left with the trolley, Konata decided to taste the liquid in the drip bag. "A bit salty. So, did anyone read the news today?"

Silence followed by cricket chirping.

Konata sighed. "Well, that busted the joke. Onto the fanfic..."

* * *

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A car crashed through a shopping mall.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]**

Konata climbs into a submarine.

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

**[And Tsukasa Hiiragi as Tsukasa]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Vegeta is laughing...

**[Special Guest Star: Vegeta as Big Head Vegetable]**

A shoe hits Miyuki in the head...

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 2]**

*

**[Episode 8: Vertical Limit Break]**

_**Konata's Narration: **__"I have returned to life after surviving a bomb blast..."_

A helicopter is flying over the Presidential Residence...

_**Konata: **__"And now, Kagamin wants to push me out of the spotlight."_

*

Kagami, Tsukasa and Konata are having dinner, when Kagami makes an announcement.

"Konata, I'm going to climb Mt. Fuji tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Why are you telling me this right now?"

Kagami groaned. "I was telling you about it since last week, but you had other things on your mind."

Konata nods. "Yeah, with everything from being President to dealing with Vegetable. I'm totally pooped."

Kagami frowns. "Not exactly what I saw."

**[Flashback: Last Week]**

Kagami walked into Konata's office, where Konata is playing on her computer.

"Konata, I'm planning on climbing Mt. Fuji," Kagami announced.

Konata's concentration is on her **MMORPG** on her computer. "Okay. Have fun."

Kagami sighed. 'I'd better mention this again during the next few days...'

***The Next Day***

"Konata, not sure if you remembered, but I'm climbing Mt. Fuji next week," Kagami announced.

Konata is playing the PS3. "Cool. Bring me back something from there."

***The Next Day***

"Konata, just reminding you that I'm going to climb Mt. Fuji," said Kagami.

Konata is back on her MMORPG. "Okay. Just don't get hurt."

***Et Cetera...***

_Kagami: "I even had to put up a YouTube Video in case you happened to be on the site."_

**[Kagami's video is on YouTube:] **

Kagami is in her office.

"Hi, I'm Kagami Hiiragi, Vice-President of Japan. I'm here to officially announce that I am going to climb Mt. Fuji for Charity. I hope to raise awareness in..."

*

_Konata: "Oh. I thought it was a Joke Video done by someone else, so I sent my Video Response." _

**[Konata's Video Response too Kagami's video:]**

Kagami is eating a Pocky.

"This is Kagami Hiiragi. She is a liar and a cheat and I will kill her. This video is authorized by Konata Izumi, Japanese President."

Konata pops up in the video with a Kitchen Knife. "You're dead, Kagamin!"

**[End Flashback]**

Kagami could only stare at Konata in disbelief. "Why would you send such a violence response to my video?"

"I thought it was a joke, so I put in a joke of my own."

*

_**Konata: **__"Anyway, as Kagamin prepares for her trip up Mt. Fuji, I had to deal with things at Ground Level. Vegetable has made an outrageous claim that I have gone crazy and he isn't the only one..."_

Vegeta is at a Press Conference. "President Izumi has lost it."

*

Later, Tsukasa has been ambushed by reporters. "Kona-chan has lost it?"

*

Meanwhile, Konata drops her DS Stylus under her desk. Konata frantically searched under the desk for the important tool for her console. "Damn, I lost it."

***_Konata: __"Yep, I lost it."_***

_**Konata: **__"That one misunderstanding with my Stylus has sent Tsukasa and me into _**Dr. Orochimaru's Mental Asylum**_. I had no idea why Tsukasa was sent in with me, but I know that such a place did not have the ability to keep me in there as I quickly escaped on a motorcycle with Tsukasa."_

Konata and Tsukasa are riding through the streets of Tokyo on a motorcycle. Konata crashes the bike through a fruit stand but keeps on riding.

_**Konata:**__ "There was only one way bring everything back to normal. I have to find Kagamin by beating her to the top of Mt. Fuji."_

Konata and Tsukasa arrived at a Helipad with a helicopter waiting.

Konata grinned. "Good thing I stashed the Kona-Copter here, Tsukasa, because we're going to climb Mt. Fuji."

Tsukasa's face has gone pale. "What?"

***_Konata: __"I'm Flying! I'm Flying!"_***

_**Konata: **__"Since this is a very dangerous Mountain Climbing Mission and I don't want anything to happen to Tsukasa, I decided to re-hire a minor Anime Character I fired a few episodes ago to use as a token Redshirt..." _

Konata, Tsukasa and re-hired Advisor Tracey _'Kenji'_ Sketchit are halfway climbing up Mt. Fuji.

"Come on, Tsukasa! We are nearly at the top! We need to get there before your sister."

Tsukasa is catching her breath. "How is it that you're not tired after climbing up this high, Kona-Chan?"

"Like I said before when raced in the 100 Meters. All you need to do is visualize."

"What were you visualizing this time, Kona-chan?"

Suddenly, a condor strikes Kenji. The impact was strong enough to knock Kenji down and caused him to slide down the mountain. Sadly, Kenji could do nothing to prevent his fall off the mountain. "Oh no! Save me, Ms. President!"

Konata did not do a thing to save Kenji. "Sorry, I only took you back because I needed someone to be a Redshirt and this is a very dangerous climb up a mountain. You're going to have to find your own way back to Base Camp."

The condor is now flying towards Konata and Tsukasa. Konata pulls out a mallet and used it to hit the condor in the head, sending it crashing down the mountain.

"The game I was visualizing was Ice Climbers," Konata answered as she rests the mallet on her shoulder. "Oh, and don't worry about Kenji. He's a minor character, so no one will care if he dies or not."

*

Meanwhile on the other side of Mt. Fuji, Kagami is getting close to the top of the mountain as she slowly climbs the side. "Just one couple more feet..."

Suddenly, a hand appeared. "Would you like some help?"

Konata recognized the voice. "What the hell are you doing here, Konata?"

Konata grinned as she sat on a rock on the top of the mountain. "I just beat you to the top, so I win."

Kagami shook her head and sighed. "Since when did this become a race?"

*

_**Konata:**__ "With Kagamin's help, I was able to help prove that both Tsukasa and I are not insane and everything is back to normal while we were able to discredit Vegetable. To celebrate, I took both Kagami and Tsukasa to an Anime Convention."_

Kagami and Tsukasa are with Konata at an Anime Convention. Tsukasa is happy that everything is back to normal while Kagami is exhausted from the madness.

Konata looked at her friends/co-workers. "So guys, I'd bet the past few days was Kona-Tastic, right?"

**[End of Episode 8]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata: **__"Hey, you think they're going to make an Ice Climbers Movie based on my experience?"_

* * *

Satoshi is sitting on a chair reading a Manga when Konata suddenly walks out from a door with a Bokken and smashed the wooden sword on Satoshi's back, breaking the sword and knocking Satoshi out. Konata retrieves the Manga from the unconscious body.

"That's for borrowing my Manga without asking," said Konata.

**[Act 766: Legendary Girl A in Unprovoked Attack]**

* * *

Konata is at the beach using her metal detector to search for treasure in the sands when the metal detector suddenly reacts to something in the ground with a large beep.

"Finally, something big!" Konata digs into the sand, only to pick up another metal detector.

---

Konata, Kagami and Tsukasa were sitting in the Konata's room having a discussion.

"And then, they said that!" finished Tsukasa.

Kagami laughed. "I know!"

"This is hot news!" said Konata.

Tsukasa nods. "I know."

"Of course, it doesn't hide the fact that they smell," Kagami added.

The three girls continued to laugh loudly when the doorbell suddenly rang.

"Now, who could that be?!" Konata stood up and walked to the door. She opens the door to find opens the door to find Satoshi wear a hard hat.

"Yes?"

"Do you mind keeping the noise down? We're trying to demolish a building across the road!" Satoshi points to a house behind him being set in place for demolition.

Konata raised an eyebrow. "Wa?"

*

Meanwhile, Akira and Shiraishi are at the Lucky Channel set, laughing non-stop...

* * *

**[Post Lucky*Star Snippet]**

In the TV Studio, Konata is standing in front of the live audience.

"I never expected this moment. Yeah, it just appeared out of nowhere. Whenever we hear a member of our crew is leaving, we have to stop the show and give him a treat. Is Yukito there?"

Among the studio audience, Yukito stood up and Konata walks up to Yukito.

"For those of you who don't know, Yukito is part of our live audience for this episode," Konata explains to everyone. She looks at Yukito. "I'm sorry that you have to go but the boys upstairs have put up a little something for you to remember."

On the video, Yukito and his friend, Touya, are outside waiting to be let into the studio. Once the doors opened, Yukito and Touya made their way through the corridors, walked up to the audience seats and then Yukito watched Konata's show, _**'Konata Izumi, Japanese President'**_ and the video ends.

Konata gives a present to Yukito. "Yukito, thank you for being in our audience. So, why are you leaving?"

Yukito shrugged. "To be honest, I don't even know why I'm here."

Konata nods. "Right, thanks Yukito!"

Yukito and Touya stood up and walked towards the exit...

**[An Edit Later...]**

Konata is laughing as she watched the previous scene. "What was he thinking?"

Akira slaps Shiraishi in the face and storms out of the Lucky Channel Set, passing Konata who is sitting on a comfortable chair in the background.

"What?" asked Shiraishi.

* * *

Konata turns her attention to the camera. "Here's a question: _Just how uncaring can people be?_"

*

_Konata: "We sent Sakura Kinomoto with a 6-month old baby and left it on a median strip in busy traffic in the middle of Tokyo."_

Sakura is carrying a baby and leaves it on the median strip. Sakura quickly crossed the road.

_Konata: "As you can see, no one stopped to help."_

A few cars drive past where the baby is left behind.

*

Sakura is sitting next to Konata. "Sakura, what do you think about this incredible lack of concern for human life?" Konata asks.

Sakura nods. "Yes, Konata. It's very disturbing."

"What on earth are people thinking?" asked Konata.

Sakura shrugged. "Well, people aren't thinking and that's the big problem."

"Any news on the baby?"

Sakura shakes her head. "No. As far as I know, the baby is still out there, so we can really hope for the best at this stage." Sakura crossed her fingers.

Konata looks at the camera. "Really staggering thoughtlessness."

* * *

A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000

In association with Tai Enterprises

A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project

*

**Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuff **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

At a café table, Kagami was reading a newspaper when Konata walked to the table with some drinks.

"Is anyone sitting there?" Konata asked as she points at one of the chairs.

"No."

"Is anyone sitting there?" Konata asked again as she points at another chair.

"No."

"Is anyone sitting there?" Konata points at yet another chair.

"No."

Konata smirked. "Heh...you got no friends." Konata walked off before she could face Kagami's wrath.


	9. One Flew over Konata's Nest

**[Agincourt]**

Kagami is King Henry V riding on her white steed with Miyuki, Tsukasa and Satoshi standing around trying to form a three-person crowd/army.

"_Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,  
Or close the wall up with our English dead.  
In peace there's nothing so becomes a man  
As modest stillness and humility;  
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,  
Then imitate the action of the tiger;  
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood..."_

In the background, a cop car arrives in the background. The officer got out of the car and interrupts Kagami's speech.

"Hey, do you have a permit to be there? That spot is reserved by Konata Izumi's Fanfic Project, not some Shakespeare Parody!"

"This is Konata Izumi's Fanfic Project!" Kagami yelled back.

"Oh, my mistake! Carry on." The officer returns to the police car and drives off.

Kagami sighed. "Well that parody was a bust. Let's just start the fanfic."

* * *

A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000

In association with Tai Enterprises

A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project

*

**Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuff **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A car crashed through a shopping mall.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]**

Konata climbs into a submarine.

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

**[And Tsukasa Hiiragi as Tsukasa]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Tonton is wearing a lab coat and goggles.

**[Special Guest Star: Tonton as Professor Admiral Oink]**

Ash and Tai are fighting each other with flag poles. Ash's flagpole has a Konata Flag while Tai's flagpole has a Kagami flag...

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 2]**

*

**[Episode 9: One Flew Over Konata's Nest]**

_**Konata's Narration: **__"Life is like Anime. One moment you're __**in**__, the next you're __**out**__._

Konata is walking through a hallway.

*

Vegeta is at yet another press conference.

_**Konata: **__"And not to mention that Mr. Unpopular, Vegetable had me on the back foot."_

*

_**Konata: **__"He ruined my new speedboat."_

Konata's speedboat is suddenly set alight. "Damn you, Vegetable!"

Konata abandons her boat as it explodes.

*

_**Konata: **__"He also sent in a hit squad to ambush me during my holiday on the Swiss Alps._

Konata is enjoying her ski down the mountain when a helicopter fired its guns at Konata.

"That's it! I need a safe place to hide!" Konata skis her way to safety.

*

Konata is following Kagami to a safe location. "Are you sure it's safe over at your place, Kagamin?"

Kagami nods. "Of course."

As soon as Konata and Kagami entered Kagami's apartment, the apartment building implodes.

"Good one, Kagamin..."

*

_**Konata: **__"Amazingly, I survived without a scratch thanks to my Haruhi-like Powers. However, Kagamin didn't fare too well so I had to perform surgery to save her life under the supervision of my medical expert, Admiral Oink."_

Konata is dressed as a surgeon, with a pig wearing a lab coat and goggles supervising.

"Alright, Kagamin. I'm going to save your life." Konata picks up a power drill.

"You're not going to drill into my skull, are you?" Kagami asks as she is lying on the operating table.

"Err, no. I'm not going to drill into your skull," Konata lied. "I need the drill to tighten a loose screw here..."

Konata operates on Kagami...

_**Konata: **__"The operation was a success. I removed Kagamin's brain from her body and kept her brain in a jar. I then placed in an Artificial Brain that has Kagamin's personality with the will of an Otaku, creating a Kindred Spirit."_

*

_**Konata:**__ "Meanwhile, Vegetable decided to ask for assistance from a censor to disguise himself." _

Vegeta's face has been blurred by the censors as he gets into a car.

_**Konata:**__ "And thanks to Vegetable's move, I decided to use my ace in the hole...by cutting the brakes in Vegetable's car."_

Vegeta's car is out of control as it drives towards a cliff. "Shit!"

_**Konata: **__"With Vegetable's face censored, no one will ever know that Vegetable was killed._

*

Everyone was clapping.

_**Konata: **__"I was given the Shovel of Honor for my services removing Vegetable from existence._

Konata collects a shovel at a ceremony. "I would like to thank my friends and family for allowing me to finish off my nemesis in the most epic Kona-Tastic way ever. Haruhi for the win!"

**[End of Episode 9]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata: **__"Who wants to be drilled next?"_

* * *

**[Act 007: Cendre Stu and his Invisible Pikachus]**

Satoshi does a bow and presented his Invisible Pikachu.

Satoshi got himself inside the Invisible Pikachu and made the impression that he is inside one as he waves to the audience. Satoshi pushed the Invisible Pikachu through his body and puts the Invisible Pikachu on the floor. Then, Satoshi takes out a pistol and shoots at his Invisible Pikachu.

Konata watched the act. "That was Cendre Stu, who will be making an appearance at Tokyo District Court this Thursday under the charges of Invisible Pokémon Cruelty."

* * *

In a Museum, Kagami is leading a tour group in a room with three Ming Vases. The tour group consists of Konata, Satoshi, Naruto, Neil Hyuga, Kyle Inuzuka, Sarah Springfield, Steven Uchiha, Sebastian Nara and Chaney Akimichi eating a Big Mallet Burger and drinking a can of Haruhi Cola.

"These rare Ming Vases were donated to the museum," Kagami explains.

Konata nods. "I guess the museum must be thinking like I do, except that all three of them are out here instead of one being kept in a vault and the other being loaned to someone else."

"I agree," said Satoshi. Satoshi looks at Kagami. "How much are they?"

"I'm sorry, sir. But those rare Ming Vases are not for sale," said Kagami.

"Alright." Satoshi pushed over one of the vases, creating a domino effect which knocked over the other two vases.

Kagami is shocked at the wanton destruction. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"I hate your Ming Vases," replied Satoshi.

* * *

At the Arcade, Tsukasa, cosplaying as Sakura Kinomoto, is looking around before walking out of the Arcade. As she walks out, Tsukasa happens to pass Konata without noticing.

Meanwhile, Konata is watching Kagami play Dance Dance Revolution. Konata turns around and spots Arcade Attendant Satoshi. "Excuse me, but I just want to ask you about **Dance Dance Revolution**."

"Oh, you want some coins?" asked Satoshi.

Konata shakes her head. "No. Don't you think it's strange that **Dance Dance Revolution** doesn't teach people the proper way of dancing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, hypermathematically, let's assume my friend Kagami, who is playing **DDR**, is going to a School Dance and she dances around by stomping the floor," said Konata. "People will think she is an idiot."

"But it's only a game. It does not teach people how to dance." Satoshi said.

"Oh yeah? What will happen if a room full of people dance like that? If someone falls over and people are stomping, he'll be like crying, 'help me! I am being crushed! Save me, Pikachu! Oh yeah, you are just a fictional yellow mouse'." Konata glares at Satoshi. "We will have a dead body and it will be your fault..."

Satoshi rolled his eyes. "Right..."

Konata rubbed her chin. "I suggest that we should put a sticker on the DDR machine that says, _'Not for real dancing, otherwise you will kill someone.'_"

* * *

**[Post Lucky*Star Snippet]**

"_We interrupt your normal fanfiction viewing to bring you this special news report..."_

"_Fortunately, the news reports you will read will not affect how you think in the morning, afternoon and night."_

"_Oh, and any events, persons or Pokémons that appear in this fanfic is purely coincidental..."_

But right now, we bring you...

**[Lucky*Star News]**

Miyuki and Kagami are sitting at the news desk.

Kagami presents the next news report. "And now on to Property Watch now, as we look at this Janitor's Closet in California."

**[Property Watch: Janitor's closet]**

"It is a booming market as we look for buyers to buy this excellent piece of real estate," Kagami reports.

Miyuki nods. "Yes and the current bid is US$ 1.2 Million. But there is a reserve price that's up in the US$3 million mark."

**[Current Bid: US$1.2 Million]**

_Kagami: "And this piece of real estate deal has a short stroll to the beach."_

**[32 KM stroll to Beach]**

_Kagami: "An uninterrupted water view."_

**[Water views of damp puddle]**

_Kagami: "...and an approval for further improvement."_

**[Approval to remove dead cockroach]**

* * *

Satoshi walks up to Kagami at a nightclub. "Hey, you want to dance?"

"Sure thing," said Kagami.

As soon as Satoshi stood on the dance floor, he began to stomp on the floor. "Oh yeah, I'm going to do a freeze for double points on Expert!"

Kagami could only shake her head in disgust. "Not another **DDR **Freak..."

* * *

**[Lucky*Star News]**

Kagami is at the news desk. "And now we move on to the weather. Konata, how's the weather in the Saitama prefecture this weekend?"

Konata is standing in front of a weather map.

"Thanks, Kagami. Before I head straight into the weather, here's a joke. Why does the blonde carry an open handbag in the rain? Any guesses? Here's my answer: Because she expected some change in the weather!"

Konata burst into a fit of laughter before regaining composure.

"But seriously, it will be raining cats and dogs, so be careful not to step on any pool-dles!" Konata couldn't stop laughing. She quickly breaths slowly to catch her breath. "Man, I was saving that one in a long time! Anyway, why do they use the term _'Cats and Dogs'_. Why couldn't it be birds, like _'chickens and ducks'_? I suppose they would have 'fowl' weather!" Konata laughed, banging her fist on the weather map before calming down. "Either way, take an umbrella...ella...ella...ella..."

Konata could not stop laughing as she glares at a stagehand.

"Alright, someone must have done something to my coffee! And if I find out whose responsible, I'll kill them!" Konata laughed nonstop. "Back to you, Kagamin..."

* * *

An evil President/Dictator (Kagami) is in her office when Tsukasa runs in. "Ms. President! The people are starting a revolution!"

"What kind of revolution?" asked Kagami.

"A **Dance Dance Revolution**!" Tsukasa points out of the window.

Outside, Konata and a group of Revolutionaries are dancing DDR style as they stomped on the ground.

"Alright guys!" yelled Konata. "If we keep this up, we'll beat the Dictator on Expert!"

* * *

Pilots Konata and Satoshi are flying a plane. Konata looks out the window. "Oh look, mountain climbers."

Konata turns her attention to the front windshield to see a mountain. "Oh shit!"


	10. Resident Kona

**[Post Lucky*Star Snippet]**

"_After saying goodbye in the final episode of Lucky Star, the girls went their separate ways to pursue personal projects and attain inner fulfillment..."_

Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa and Miyuki gave their farewells to each other at the airport as Konata, Tsukasa and Miyuki walked through the departure gates to their different flights as Kagami waved. Then, Taichi walks by, flipping the bird at the girls.

*

Tsukasa is in Saffron City, Pokémon Kanto...

"_Tsukasa spent Nine Months in Pokémon Kanto, helping Pokémons overcome Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from the war in the Digi-World..."_

Tsukasa is dressed as a Pokémon nurse taking care of mentally disturbed Pokémon.

*

Kagami is at a Tokyo Penthouse...

"_Kagami made headlines when she was caught sucking the toes of Naruto star, Sarah Springfield."_

Sakura Haruno is lying on a poolside bench, as Kagami is kissing Sakura's toes.

"_And then, Kagami eloped to marry Sarah's toes in a private wedding ceremony."_

Kagami has some wedding photographs in tabloid articles of the marriage between Sakura's toes and herself...

*

Miyuki is a Defense Attorney in an Ace Attorney-Style courtroom...

"_Despite rumors, Miyuki did not undergo breast reduction surgery she had planned."_

Miyuki presents a piece of evidence that contradicts the Witness's statement...

"_Miyuki's boss explained that if she did undergo the surgery, she won't easily sway the Jury in her direction."_

The Jury's eyes are in fact looking at Miyuki _'assets'_ as whenever Miyuki presents her evidence, her bosoms bounce...

*

"_And Konata has gone to live with Jedis in an undisclosed location, where she trained to be a fully-fledged Jedi Knight, studying meditation and the will of the Force. _

Konata is dressed as a Jedi meditating with two other Jedis...

"_In return, Konata taught the Jedis the art of being an Otaku."_

One of the Jedis is cosplaying as Haruhi. Konata points at the cosplaying Jedi.

"And that's how you cosplay Haruhi Suzumiya," Konata finished her explanation.

*

Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa, Miyuki, Misao and Ayano are walking down a street in Tokyo wearing black business suits.

"_And now the girls are back with cast members Misao Kusakabe and Ayano Minegishi, who are only contracted to do this opening bit. Ladies and Gentlemen, that's the end of this joke. Now we return to your normal Fanfic reading..."_

* * *

A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000

In association with Tai Enterprises

A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project

*

**Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuffs **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A car crashed through a shopping mall.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]**

Konata climbs into a submarine.

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

**[And Tsukasa Hiiragi as Tsukasa]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Giovanni is giving his orders to his Team Rocket Minions...

**[Special Guest Star: Giovanni as Fat Giovanni]**

Naruto's head blows up.

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 2]**

*

**[Previously on Konata Izumi, Japanese President...]**

_**Konata:**__ "However, Vegetable decided to ask for assistance from a censor to disguise himself." _

Vegeta's face has been blurred by a mysterious censor as he gets into a car.

_**Konata: **__"And thanks to Vegetable's move, I decided to use my ace in the hole...by cutting the brakes in Vegetable's car."_

Vegeta's car is out of control as it drives towards a cliff. "Shit!

*

**[Episode 10: Resident Kona]**

_**Konata's narration: **__"It's been a rough past few chapters. I survived a bomb blast, got sent to a mental asylum, destroyed half of Tokyo and killed Vegetable. Which was pretty awesome!"_

Konata is eating some Ramen with Naruto to celebrate Vegeta's death.

*

_**Konata: **__"With Vegetable gone, my only problem remaining is Fat Giovanni, who has plans to become the next Japanese President if he beats me at the next election."_

Giovanni is now taking Vegeta's place at the Press Conference.

_**Konata: **__"And his plan was to sabotage every single computer during my Presidential visit to Ryoo High School!"_

*

President Konata, Vice President Kagami, Foreign Affairs Advisor Tsukasa and Advisor Miyuki are in the Ryoo High School Computer Lab.

Konata is trying to use one of the computers in the Lab. "Damn, thousands of computers are now completely useless since _**CrazySexyMeganekko**_ won't load again. I'm going to play the Wii."

Konata switched over to the Wii in the Ryoo High School Computer lab. As Konata plays WiiSports, she was beaten by a student. "Damn you, Fat Gio!"

*

_**Konata: **__"I had learned Fat Gio's travel plans, so I was ready to take him out at the right moment..."_

Konata is watching Giovanni enter a plane on a Television screen. The moment Giovanni entered the plane; Konata pressed a button, detonating a bomb on the plane, killing Giovanni inside. "Gotcha!"

_**Konata: **__"I thought my reign as Japanese President is secure until..."_

A red alert siren is head in Konata's office. "What the hell is going on?" Konata checked her monitor and she sees Vegeta bursting out of the ground like a zombie.

"Oh shit, Vegetable is now a zombie."

*_**Konata: **__"It's over 9000 Zombies!"_*

Konata: "So I had arranged for a crack Zombie-killing team."

Konata is wearing an orange vest while holding a shotgun. Standing behind here are a group of people also wearing their orange vests.

"Alright, does everyone have an orange vest? Good." Konata picks up the phone and dials a few random numbers.

Kagami answers the call.

_Kagami: "This is Vice-President Hiiragi speaking."_

"Kagamin, its Kona here! I need your advice from your Zombie-killing guide on how to kill zombie."

_Kagami: "Okay...let's see what I can find."_

Back at** KonaHQ**, Kagami opens a book on _'How to kill Zombies'_.

_Kagami: "Alright, you'll need 10 sticks of dynamite, a Genie's lamp, 2 sets of skis and a body double."_

Konata did not like Kagami's plan. "It's a stupid plan. I'm going to watch Haruhi instead." Konata abandons her Orange vest and walked off.

*_**Konata's Body Double: **__"I'm Konata Izumi"_*

_**Konata: **__"While I was watching Haruhi, Zombie Vegetable has decided to hijack a truck full of explosives and try to drive it into __**KonaHQ**__!"_

An out of control truck is ploughing its way through cars and trucks before it explodes.

_**Konata: **__"Fortunately, being a zombie doesn't make you a good driver."_

*

_**TV: **__"We interrupt tonight's episode of Haruhi to bring you the latest news. Zombie Vegeta has attempted to drive a truck full of explosives into the President's offices. Fortunately, the truck crashed and burned before it even reached the building. We now return you to your normal programming..."_

Konata laughs. "Now that's what I call a **Kona-Tastic** Suicide."

**[End of Episode 10]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata: **__"I'm the best Zombie-Killer of them all."_

* * *

**[Tsukasa Hiiragi Reporting]**

Tsukasa is in a random Tokyo suburb. "Thanks, Konata."

_Konata: "Wait a minute. I didn't do a throw to you, Tsukasa, did I?"_

Tsukasa continues her report. "I am in an undisclosed location in Tokyo where I'm going to interview a random passer-by to discuss the rise in house prices..."

Mrs. Takara happened to be walking by in the background when she sees the camera. She walks up to Tsukasa. "Excuse me, miss. I hope you don't mind moving the camera a little bit to the left. The angle you picked to do your news report will lower the value of my property and I feel as a person living there, I would prefer if you could get a better angle of my home so that it would help increase the value of my home. And while you're at it, I am happy to give you something to drink while you film my home..."

Tsukasa is unsure what to do next, so she looked at the camera. "Back to you in the Studio, Konata."

Konata is the camerawoman holding the camera. "But I'm over here," said the Camerawoman.

Tsukasa looks at the camerawoman. "Not you, Kona-chan. I mean the one back in the studio."

"Right." The camerawoman nods. "Back to me in the studio."

* * *

Back in the studio, Konata nods as she sits on her comfortable chair. "Thank you, Tsukasa."

Konata looks at the camera. "Daisuke Motomiya used to play soccer for the Japanese National team and that seems to substitute talent, experience and on-air presentation in the Anime industry. Daisuke is out and about in the streets of Tokyo, bursting into people's homes and making fun of people. Unfortunately, Daisuke is not employed by any TV network and has been taken into custody."

Konata sighs. "They really are hulking idiots," she mumbled.

**[An Edit Later...]**

Konata is sitting at a desk. "This next joke requires me to imitate a news report." Konata picks up a sheet of paper and reads the report in her _'Haruhi'_ voice.

"_A large ship carrying 50, 000 pounds of aromatherapy oils got split into the sea and burst into flames today, causing widespread calm and a sense of well-being along the east coast of Japan. Satoshi Katsumoto is now at the beach interviewing the captain."_

*

Satoshi and Ship Captain Kagami are standing at the beach.

_**Konata: **__"But who cares about that since the joke is over. Anyway, here's someone who never dates, though for completely different reasons."_

* * *

Kagami is typing on her computer in an office when Konata opens the door.

"Sorry, Kagami. That wasn't meant to be a joke. I was only stating a fact."

Kagami throws a pen at Konata as she dodged the projectile.

* * *

At a hospital waiting room, Konata is sitting on a bench when Surgeon Satoshi walked out of the Operating Room.

"Miss Izumi. I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your father never regained consciousness."

Konata cried as Satoshi hugged Konata to comfort her. Suddenly, Konata stood a few steps back. "Are you having an erection?"

Satoshi shook his head. "Oh no. It's my belt. It has a very big belt buckle."

* * *

**[Tai Enterprises Offices, 11:59 am]**

Kagami is getting some coffee in the cafeteria. Once Kagami is sits down on her seat, she somehow manages to catch a loud conversation nearby.

"Look, it's not my fault, Tai. I just happen to be a nice guy," said Satoshi.

"I can see that, Ash," said Taichi. "The first one was flat, followed by one with two unnatural hills, before you move on to something average."

"You don't have to put it that way, Tai. You're one to talk, considering that your first one was a flat and your current one is more or less the same."

Kagami is suddenly curious at the conversation between the two guys-in-charge. 'What the hell are those two talking about?'

Konata speaks. "Guys, I had a look at the photos you showed me and here's my opinion. Ash, I'm surprised that your girlfriend was not threatened by your friends with the unnatural hills or the average one, though I would prefer to call those _'unnatural hills'_ torpedoes in my perspective, considering the age in the photo."

'_Konata mentioning torpedoes. I don't like the sound of this conversation.'_

Satoshi shrugs. "Yeah, well, those things are dangerous for a girl at such a young age, but no one complained about it."

"Then how come she gets hers before she could go to High School while I went to High School and haven't got them yet?" Konata pouts. "What does she have that I don't?" asked Konata.

Satoshi chuckled. "If it's any consolation, Konata, you will keep a title that she won't be able to keep once she's legal."

"And what would that be?" Konata asks.

Satoshi and Taichi looked at each other before giving Konata their answer without hesitation. "Jailbait," they said in unison.

Kagami decides to intervene. "Alright, what the hell are you guys talking about?"

Konata explains the topic. "Oh, I was asking about the types of girls they prefer, since Ash is a natural chick magnet while Tai is a picky, egotistical tyrant."

"I already have a girlfriend and I have best friends who are girls," Satoshi said. "So, Konata was doing a comparison between them."

Konata nods. "One of Ash's female friends has similar genes to Miyuki's, which makes me so jealous. And she was at the age of 13 as well. I'm 19 and I'm still flat!"

Kagami frowns. _'So that's what he meant by_ "unnatural hills". _Now I'm really regretting joining in this conversation.'_

"You guys were talking about breast sizes?"

"_Meowth, that's right,_" said Konata. "When Ash met his girlfriend, she had a flat chest, but currently, it's grown nicely. And when Ash met his other two female friends, one was well developed while the other was growing nicely. They must know the same person as Miyuki does."

Satoshi did a face palm in embarrassment. _'You and your big mouth. If they were here when you said that, I'd be flattened like a pancake before being buried under six feet of dirt.'_

Konata realized something. "Oh, speaking of girls, I'm surprise neither of you speak about Sakura _(Kinomoto)_. Usually she hangs out with you two and not once did she try to flirt with you two..."

"If your insisting that Sakura is bats for the other team or she has a crush on one of us, you're wrong," said Satoshi. "She's has a boyfriend who lives in Hong Kong and the reason why she's comfortable being with us is because she is my cousin. Both are enough reasons for this guy here not to pull any moves on her." Satoshi points at Taichi.

"I see your point." Konata looks at the other photos. "Tai's first girlfriend was also flat. But seriously, a comb as a present. Did an alien suck your brain out?"

_'__I would have broken up with my boyfriend if he did the same, if I had a boyfriend in the first place.'_

"But Tai's was lucky to have met his current girlfriend while he was studying a Tokyo U."

Kagami smiled. "Yeah, I'm glad Tai is in a stable relationship now."

"I wouldn't say that it's a stable relationship," said Konata. "Considering that his current girlfriend is confined to a wheelchair."

An awkward pause followed after Konata's sentence.

"I don't know whether to be offended or declare that the perfect _**'Conversation Killer'**_," Kagami mumbled.

* * *

In the studio, Konata is sitting at a desk. "We interrupt tonight's episode of Haruhi because we couldn't come up with better jokes. Anyway, I'm here to talk about something interesting."

Konata stands up and walks towards a door. "In the early days of Ocean Travel, sailors would report sightings of beautiful women with fish tails, resting on a rock or swimming around in the ocean. In my theory, I believe that what these Sailors have witnessed is in fact the Pokémon known as Dewgong, which leads me to two conclusions. Either they are out at sea for too long or they are in need of a Naval Optometrist..."

Konata opens the door...

*

...and enters the Hiiragi Household, where Kagami and Tsukasa are watching TV.

"Sorry, wrong punchline..." Konata apologizes before leaving.

* * *

Satoshi is working in a convenience store when two customers enter. Satoshi looks at the customers. "Alright, who's first?"

Kagami is dressed as a chicken while Tsukasa is dressed up as an egg. "I think you should go first, Tsukasa," said Kagami.

Tsukasa shakes her head. "No, you go first, Sis."

"You're the egg, so you first..."

"No, you're Chicken. You should be first..."

* * *

**[Anime Senate]**

Senator Konata takes the stand.

"I would like to thank for the Senator's question. That is obviously something we should be addressing at the appropriate time, not an inappropriate one but an appropriate one..."

"Konata stinks!" yelled a Senator.

"But the Senator can... err... the Senator will know that at an appropriate time, we will do something that is good and sensible, not bad and insensible. I think the public had enough of the bad, insensible things done by DBZ Party when they were in office for the last eight years when they had President Goku in office. Eight years they could have done something that wasn't idiotic and stupid, but they chose to do something idiotic and stupid anyway, at the wrong time."

"Konata sucks!" yelled a senator.

"No, Konata rocks!" retorts another senator.

"The Senator from _(Pikachu)_ has been calling me names again. I am not going to say what those names are because I am not going to say what those good things are because we will say it at an appropriate time. It is a matter of what is allowed by the Party and it is for them to decide. I will not betray the President's trust as I'm sure what the Senator from _(Squirtle)_ did eight years ago."

"Konata is a p..."

"Do not call the senator names!" interrupted another senator.

"I am not about to stab the President from behind by doing that. Not even using an ax(e) to chop his head off and eat him. I do not think anyone will ask me to do that. I am not going to stand here, dressed like a Viking and ride around this senate room on a bicycle, unlike what the Senator from _(Bulbasaur)_ did eight years ago."

"I did not do that!" a voice cried out.

"Oh, yes you did!" another voice yelled.

"I am sick and fed up with what is done by bad management and the sort of stupid, insane and ill-timed things decided under what Goku's government that brought unemployment to it's highest rate since..."

Senator Miyuki hands Konata a piece of paper. "...what has recorded the highest rainfall since the Depression!"

"Good going, Konata!" A senator cheered.

Another senator booed. "Boooo!"

"We can promise that the Anime World one thing that Goku couldn't provide in his eight years in office and that is four years of _**'GoCool'**_!"

The senators on Konata's side laughed.

"And it is that mess we are trying to fix and clean up. The Goku's Black Hole! The Goku's Pulsar! And Goku's own personal Red Dwarf! But we can promise to you that the people of the Anime World our unstupid and good decisions are to be made reasonable and at the same time, we can help the people."

Konata takes a breath after that long speech. "And the answer to the second part of the Senator's question: **No**."

Senator Konata walks back to her seat.

* * *

Kagami and Tsukasa are having dinner in a Sushi Restaurant.

"I'd be happy to spend more time with him," said Kagami. "He's a bond trader in New York and he's gorgeous."

Tsukasa is impressed. "Wow."

Kagami nods. "But my main concern is Manhattan in the winter."

"Brrrr..." Both sisters said in a mock shiver.

Kagami continues. "I don't care what they say. I told him _'next time I'm at the Big Apple, I will look you up'_. But seriously, I do love New York."

Tsukasa sighs. "Oh yes. I'm sure you'll love it when you go there."

Waiter Satoshi walks up to Kagami and Tsukasa's table holding a bottle of Red Wine. "Excuse me, but this is from the gentlemen at Table No.9."

Satoshi then speaks in a mocking voice. "Oh yeah! Sure! New York! Yeah, he's a Bond Trader! Winter? Brrrrrrr. Yeah!" Satoshi walks off.

*

Below the Sushi Restaurant, Konata is standing in front of the audience.

"My next guest once held the Worldwide Record for the most number of Whipcracks by a Video Game Character 10 years ago in** Final Fantasy VIII** before she was beaten in the record books by a German Lawyer named Franziska von Karma. But for one woman whose name is Quistis Trepe, she intends to beat that record tonight. Quistis, welcome to the show."

Quistis _(cosplayed by Nanako Kuroi)_ is standing next to Konata holding her whip. She shook hands with Konata.

"So, Quistis, do you use the whip for professional or personal reasons?"

"It's professional," said Nanako. "But, I sometimes use my whip to show my students who is **Boss** because in where I'm from, Capital Punishment with the whip is permitted."

Konata nods. "So, you lost your title as the record holder for the number of Whipcracks by a Video Game Character in 2002. Could you talk us through that?"

"Well, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown after losing my title and between 2002-2007, it was almost a complete blank, going in and out of different mental institutions." Nanako pauses. "I used to wake up covered in blood."

"I see." Konata rubs her chin. "But you're alright now, right?"

Nanako nods. "Yep, I'm fully recovered."

Konata breaths a sigh of relief. "Which is quite good as you are about to attempt to break Franziska's record and regain your title live on this Show, is that right?"

"That's right, Konata. Now all I need is a volunteer with nerves of steel."

Konata laughs before looking at the camera. "Oh Izzy! Would you mind helping Quistis with her World Record attempt?"

Cameraman Koushiro _'Izzy, No Relation' _Izumi walks out from behind camera, removing his headphones. "Sure thing, what do you need me to do?"

Nanako points at a wooden post in the corner. "All you need to do is stand at that wooden post."

"Okay." Izzy walks to the post. He looks at Nanako. "Do you need me to have a cigarette in my mouth or something?"

"If you want," said Nanako. "Just turn around and hold on to the post."

"Okay." Izzy reluctantly turns around and holds the post.

"So, Franziska's record is **270 lashes**?"

"Yes." Nanako cracks the whip. "And I intend to break that record by **a hundred lashes**."

Konata nods. "Sure." Konata looks at the camera. "Sadly, we won't be able to show the readers the record attempt because of the explicit violence, but we will catch up with Quistis later on to see how she goes."

Nanako prepares to whip Izzy. "Not to worry, this will take only half an hour."

"At least it good to know that Izzy won't suffer for too long," said Konata as she makes the camera look away from the record attempt.

Everyone could hear the sound of the whip striking Izzy.

"**OWWWW!!!!!"**

Konata looks at the camera. "Anyway..."

"**OWWW!!! OWWW!!!"**

Konata slowly walked further away from the record attempt, hoping that Izzy's screams wouldn't interrupt the next segment.

"The next part..."

"**OWWWW! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF DIGIMON, PLEASE!"**

"Give me a minute." Konata picks up a baseball bat and walks out of the camera's view, followed by the sound of a homerun, silencing Izzy for good.

Konata returns to her seat. "Alright, back to the Sushi Restaurant upstairs..."

*

Upstairs in the Sushi Restaurant, Waiter Satoshi is serving Patty.

"Here's your Sushi and your Sashimi." Satoshi puts down the food on the table. "And did you order the Tsunami?"

Patty nods.

"Well, it's on the way." Satoshi quickly walks out of the restaurant. Suddenly, a Tsunami burst into the Sushi restaurant, washing Patty away...

* * *

**[Anime Senate]**

In the Senate, Senator Kagami was at the stand as the Senators were calling each other names and other stuff.

Kagami starts. "It is my duty as Senator..."

"Kagami sucks!" The opposition called out.

"Oh yeah, you suck too!" Konata's side called back.

Kagami continued. "My duty as a senator is to answer the question by the..."

"You are the reason why this country is in bad shape!" yelled an opposing Senator.

"If you are willing to listen to me..." said Kagami.

The mindless name calling and mud slinging _(figure of speech since no real mud is involved) _continued, so Kagami looks back at her fellow Senators behind her.

"Will you all shut up?!" Kagami yelled. The senators were silenced and Senator Kagami returns to why she is on the stand. "To answer the Senator's question..."

"The senator's time has expired," the Chancellor announced.

"Crap!" Kagami cursed.

"Ha ha!" The Senators from the opposition taunted.

* * *

Meanwhile, Chef Kagami is in the kitchen. "I learned that Fish is awesome food for your brains, but I've been trying it and it didn't seem to work. But anyway, I'm going to cook some awesome fish and here's one I prepared earlier in the cupboard."

Kagami takes a plate of rotting fish out of the cupboard and the rotting smell has overwhelmed Kagami. "Phew! Who would have thought that the fish would smell like this after two weeks? Now that is awesome!"

**[Blockhead's Twist]**

* * *

Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa, Miyuki and Satoshi are sitting at a panel.

Satoshi introduces the show. "Welcome to **Lucky Panel**."

"Sorry, can I interrupt you there, Satoshi?" Konata interrupts.

Satoshi looks at Konata. "Okay."

Konata nods. "Thanks. Back to you, Satoshi."

"Alright, tonight our **Lucky Panel Discussion**, we are talking about why Orochimaru is mistaken for Michael Jackson in some circles..."

Konata raised her hand. "Speaking of Michael Jackson, do you think he's related to the Director of the Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson?"

Kagami shakes her head in disgust. "Konata, don't even think about starting a Lord of the Rings joke. You really shouldn't make a Hobbit out of it..."

* * *

As Kagami and Tsukasa watched the TV, Kagami groaned as she watched the previous scene. "Typical. Whenever I'm say something, they cut to something else. And when they do, it always has to involve a joke about me. Why do you think they do that, Konata?"

Kagami then looks at an empty cushion.

*

Meanwhile, Konata is standing on a hill. She quickly runs down a hill, gets into her car and drives a few miles from the hill all the way to the Hiiragi household. Once Konata parks the car, she runs into the Hiiragi household and sits next to Kagami in front of the TV.

"Sorry Kagami. I was miles away. What were you saying?"

* * *

Tsukasa and Satoshi enter Satoshi's Office.

"Tsukasa, is everything going according to plan for our presentation?"

Tsukasa nods. "Yes, Mr. Katsumoto. I will have everything ready by tomorrow morning."

Satoshi raised his hands in frustration. "Dammit, Tsukasa. I'm supposed to do the presentation at 12 Noon. It would have been helpful if I had something to look at the night before!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Katsumoto."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Tsukasa. I suggest you should go and think about your future in this company." Satoshi returns the files to Tsukasa.

"Yes, Mr. Katsumoto." Tsukasa accidently dropped the files while trying to keep herself together after the reprimand. Tsukasa picks up the files and put them on a shelf before walking to the door...

*

As Tsukasa walked through the door, she finds herself on the deck of a Ship in the middle of the ocean.

On the deck, Naval Optometrist Konata is performing an eye examination on Pirate Miyuki's left eye while blocking Miyuki's right eye.

"Arrr. Arrr. Arrr. Arrr."

"Good." Konata nods as the Snellen Chart _(that's what that chart is called)_ only consists of the letter **'R'**. "Let's test your other eye."

Miyuki covers her left eye, while uncovering her right eye, which happens to be covered by an eye patch, making her completely blind.

Konata notices Tsukasa confused at her change in scenery from an office in the middle of Tokyo to the middle of the ocean.

"Did you end up in the wrong punchline, Tsukasa?" asked Konata.

* * *

Konata is sitting at a piano.

"That's it for this chapter of my fanfic series. We still got another two more chapters before this fanfic is finished. So, before we finish this chapter off, I would like to reveal the results of last week's big question:"

**[Is Officer Jenny from Pokémon a real Policewoman?]**

"And the answer to that question is of course, **'No'**. Thank you and goodbye."

* * *

Patty and Hiyori are in front of the camera.

Hiyori starts, "But right now..."

"...this," Patty finished, pointing at the button below.


	11. Konata Leaps through Time

Konata and Satoshi walked towards two chairs in the middle of a field. Once they reached the chairs, both Konata and Satoshi sat down.

After a few seconds of waiting, Konata looked at Satoshi. "Satoshi, could you pass me the **Aya Hirano Concert tickets** you bought?"

Satoshi gave the tickets to Konata and she looked at them. She shakes her head and sighed. "I told you these seats were shit."

* * *

A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000

In association with Tai Enterprises

A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project

*

**Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuffs **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A car crashed through a shopping mall.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]**

Konata climbs into a submarine.

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

**[And Tsukasa Hiiragi as Tsukasa]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Mirai Trunks is inside his Time Machine...

**[Special Guest Star: Trunks as The Time Traveler]**

Minami's dog is mauling Hiyori.

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 2]**

*

**[Episode 11: Konata Leaps through Time]**

_**Konata's Narration: **__"With Zombie Vegetable dead, I realized that we're not ready for the future yet."_

Konata is impatiently waiting outside Gamers in front of a long queue waiting for the Midnight release of a new game.

"Come on! How long does it take for it to be Midnight so that they can release the new Limited Edition Final Fantasy XIII game? I really need to use the toilet..."

_Konata: "Luckily, I realized that I just learned a new Haruhi-like Power to travel into the future. So I decided to go into the future to check it out..."_

Konata looks at the person next to her. "I guess I might as well check it out since I need to go to the bathroom... See you in the future."

Konata is engulfed in a bright light as she leaps to the future. "Wow, time travelling feels funny."

*

In the future, Konata is driving a flying car. "Damn! How do you drive this thing? That's it, when I go back; I'm taking flying cars off my list!"

As Konata puts the flying car on autopilot, she looks at the budget.

"You're kidding. I need more money to stop the production of flying cars in the future? Damn. I'm going to ask for money from Trunks."

Fortunately, Trunks happens to be in the same time/space continuum because he is Konata's passenger in the flying car.

Trunks refused to lend any money to Konata. "No. I will not lend you any of my money. It's for my holiday."

"You give me no choice. I'm going to hotwire this car because I'm a time-travelling Cowgirl!"

Trunks knows the huge risks involving time travel. "Konata, no!"

The flying car explodes...

*

The explosion returns Konata to the present.

_**Konata:**__ "Luckily, my trip to the future wasn't wasted. I did get the winning numbers for the 100 million yen Lottery and I won it. And you know what that means..."_

*_**Konata:**__ "Anime Convention Time!"_*

Konata is sitting on a bench at an Anime Convention after doing a lot of shopping. Konata is now bored after going to the Anime Convention. "I'm bored. Everything is more or less the same thing. Maybe I should go back there to see if there's any good Animes for me to watch out for in the Present. And this time, I'm going by Time-Travelling Car..."

Konata walks to a waiting time-travelling car outside the Anime Convention. "Alright, fire up the Flux Capacitor!"

Unfortunately, the time-travelling car is a prototype, so it explodes...

*

The time-travelling explosion sends Konata into an alternate future instead of the one she wanted to go...

_**Konata: **__"My attempt to adjust the future has taken me into another future. This time, the world is ruled by Empress Kagamin and her army of Pikachus."_

Konata is in a cage surrounded by Pikachus and Empress Kagami is sitting on the throne.

"Konata, what are you doing here?" asked the Empress.

"I time travelled here to see if the future has any good Manga or Anime for me to watch out for when I go back..."

The Empress shakes her head. "Bad luck, Konata. I've banned every single Anime and Manga series in my Empire and I'm going to crush you, _**'Konata: The Last Otaku'**_."

"What? No! I cannot live in a world without Anime and Manga!" Konata disappears in a puff of smoke.

*

Konata returns to the Present.

_**Konata:**__ "My time travelling leaping trick got me out of that mess in the nick of time. If the future has Kagamin and her Pikachu army ruling the world without Manga or Anime, I have no choice but to build my own army to fight Kagamin..."_

Konata walks into a lab. "Unleash my Genetic Replicator!"

*

**[Back in the Future]**

Konata looks at her army of Konata Clones. She gives her orders to her Clones...

"Alright, my **Kona-Tastic** Minions, crush the evil Empress and her Pikachus. They're the ones responsible for banning Anime and Manga!"

The Konata Clones charged into battle against Empress Kagami and her Pikachus...

**[End of Episode 11]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata:**__ "__**Konata: The Last Otaku' **__DVD is available at all good Animers and Gamers Stores. And maybe that awful one in Odaiba."_

* * *

An antique cookoo clock rings a bell. Suddenly, a Lion pops out of the clock and roars before returning back into the clock.

Konata nods. "I guess we all know what that means. It's time to rethink our budget for the Art Department. And also, it's time for our** Game Show Segment**!"

**[Game Show Segment: Guess the Punchline]**

Konata enters the Game Show Segment. "Now, I'm sure everyone watched those game shows where people would scramble all over the place to search for a prize. If you haven't, that's what they do. But let's see how far people would go to find a prize with tonight's contestant Tsukasa Hiiragi."

Tsukasa enters the studio.

"Welcome to the show. Tsukasa, what's your occupation?"

Tsukasa blushed. "Well, I do home duties."

Konata rubs her chin. "Oh, you're a housewife."

"Well, not exactly. I simply do the cleaning, shopping and cooking."

"Then, you're a housewife," said Konata.

Tsukasa sweatdropped. "Right."

Konata continues. "Anyway, it would be nice to win 25 Million Yen and a car, right?"

"Of course," said Tsukasa.

"So, what would you do with the 25 Million Yen?"

"Well, I'm not really sure."

"Is there a way to make this conversation more interesting?"

Tsukasa did not say a word, so Konata decides to continue. "Anyway, I can't mention the name of the Prize because this is a **Lucky Star Fanfic**. But I am allowed to do this..."

Konata was about to whisper the prize to Tsukasa when Tsukasa kissed Konata in the lips.

"Whoa! What are you doing?"

"I thought you wanted a kiss," Tsukasa answered.

Konata decides to continue the segment before things got more awkward. "You know what; I'll just show you the prize."

In the corner, Miyuki is showing off the new car, with the brand name and number plates blurred out by the Censor.

"This is a brand new _(tick tock!)_, with a 1.8L with Turbo, iPod connectivity, Air Conditioning and a host of other features that you probably won't appreciate. And you could be driving home in this car tonight, Tsukasa. And inside the back of the new _(bubble pop!) _is the 25 Million Yen in cold hard Japanese Tax Payer's Cash."

Tsukasa is admiring the car instead of paying attention to Konata. "Tsukasa, over here." Tsukasa looks at Konata. "The Cash and the Car will be yours if you can find the key to the _(bleep!)_ which is hidden in this body!"

Satoshi pushes in a corpse on a cart in front of Konata and Tsukasa.

"Tsukasa, this is a fresh corpse and part of the Autopsy has been carried out to make your job a bit easier. You have a minute to search through the body for the key that fits the _(hoo ha!)_. Alright, your minute starts now!"

Konata jumps away as Tsukasa proceeds to open up the dead body as she searches it for the key. She pulled out the intestines, the liver, followed by the stomach.

"You have 30 seconds remaining! Try the heart. But you could also check the pancreas!"

Tsukasa pulls the heart out, but the key is not there. Then she checks pancreas. No key. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

"Time's up! Bad luck, Tsukasa, but it was a nice try. For the record, the key was actually in his clenched hand."

Konata takes the keys off the corpse's clenched hand.

"But not to worry, Tsukasa, you won't be going home empty-handed. Tell her what's she's getting, Ash!"

_Ash: "Tsukasa, you'll be going home empty-handed."_

Konata nods. "And thank the family of Tracey _'Kenji'_ Sketchit, for allowing us the use of his body. Tracey always wanted to make one more appearance in this fanfic, and we are happy to oblige that request, so it works out well for both sides. So, please boo our loser, Tsukasa!"

The audience booed Tsukasa off the stage.

* * *

Satoshi is blindfolded as he takes a sip of wine. After tasting it, he spits it out. "Is it a 1990 Goku?"

Konata nods. "Yes it is. **FIRE!**" A firing squad unleashed a hail of bullets, executing Satoshi.

* * *

**[Game show segment]**

Konata is hosting a game show with Misao, Ayano and Miyuki as the contestants.

"Welcome back to Round Two." Konata begins the next question. "_Who am I? I suffered a head injury in a car accident and lost my memory. I've been wondering the streets for the last few hours, disoriented and confused. I have no idea who I am. If you can identify me, please call the police immediately._"

Konata looks at another camera. "But right now, time for us to do something extremely cheesy."

* * *

Konata walks to a set with the word **"Twins"**.

**[Twins]**

"My next guests are special. They are Fraternal Twins, who have never met each other and live on different Animes. They never even knew of each other's existence until we contacted them. Ladies and Gentlemen, **Kagami & Tsukasa** from **Lucky Star** and **Luna & Leo** from **Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds**."

Two sets of Fraternal Twins enter the studio and they both shake hands with the other Fraternal Twins, having no idea what the hell is going on...

* * *

A Rapidash-drawn carriage left a palace, with King Ash and Queen Misty inside.

"Ok, driver, stop here," said Ash. The carriage stops.

_Tsukasa: "Welcome to McAnimes, how can I take your order?"_

The carriage was at a McAnimes drive-thru, where Tsukasa's voice was from an order box.

Ash gives out the order. "Yes, I would like a Big Mallet Burger and a Haruhi Cola."

Then, Ash looks at the Queen. "What did you want?" asked Ash.

"6 Mallet Nuggets."

Ash relayed the order to Tsukasa. "6 Mallet Nuggets."

_Tsukasa: "Would you like sauce with that?"_

Ash looks at the Queen and asked, "Would you like sauce?"

"What sort of do they have?" asked the Queen.

Ash asked the device, "What range of sauces do you have?"

_Tsukasa: "Barbecue, Sweet & Sour and Sweet Chili."_

"Sweet & Sour," said the Queen.

Ash relays the order to the box. "Sweet & Sour."

"And large fries," added the Queen.

"And large fries," Ash adds.

_Tsukasa: "Ok, that would be $15.50. If you would like to move on to the next window..."_

As the carriage moves towards the next window, Ash asked the Queen, "Have you got any money?"

*

"Alright, I'll ask her," Ash said as the carriage reaches the window, where Fast Food attendant Tsukasa is with the food and drinks.

"Here's your food, sir," said Tsukasa.

"With regards to the drink," said Ash. "My wife would like to have it in one of those Haruhi cups that she saw on the television."

"I'm sorry, sir," apologized Tsukasa. "But that was last month's promotion."

"That was last month's promotion," Ash said to the Queen.

Ash was getting the food and drinks as the car behind was getting impatient with the driver pressing on the horn loudly.

Kagami yelled. "Come on! Move it!"

The King yelled back, "Yes, yes! We are proceeding as rapidly as I _(Kagami's Car Horn!)_ing can! Come on driver! I haven't got any money."

* * *

**[Game Show Segment]**

Konata and Tsukasa are standing in front of Konata's Lucky Wheel.

"So, Tsukasa, what do you do get bacon?" Konata asks.

"Well, I do home duties," Tsukasa answered.

Konata nods. "Well, there's nothing wrong with that."

"Yeah, I do the cooking for my sisters."

Konata nods. "Alright, could you read the prize that you could be winning today?"

Tsukasa reads the file. "The successful... contestant... will... win... an... all... expenses... paid... trip... for... two... flying... errr..."

Konata snatches back the file, since she could read it faster than Tsukasa. "...flying to the destination of their choice and staying at, yada yada yada. The point is that it's a holiday and a pretty good one too. Ok, Tsukasa, if you would spin the wheel. Good luck and fingers crossed."

Tsukasa spins the wheel. Before the Wheel could make a single revolution, it instantly stopped on Konata's face instead of a number.

"Wow, didn't think you would get that," said Konata. "How about that holiday?"

Tsukasa nods. "It would be great to win it."

"But you're not there yet, Tsukasa. You'll still need to answer one question correctly." Konata opens a file and asks the question. "_**What is Seto Kaiba's Signature Yu-Gi-Oh card?**_"

"Ohhh..." Tsukasa is stumped. She knows the answer but the name has slipped her tongue. "Can you give me a hint?"

"Sorry," said Konata. "The sponsors have been quite generous so they believe that the winner must be someone who has general knowledge."

"Damn...I know that it is something with white skin and blue eyes..."

"Yes, but I do need a name," said Konata. "And could you hurry up? You're boring the readers of this fanfic."

"I'm sorry." Tsukasa shakes her head. "My mind has suddenly gone blank."

"You give up? Not even going to try?"

Tsukasa nods.

Konata gives the correct answer. "It's the **Blue Eyes White Dragon**."

A _'better luck next time'_ music was played as Tsukasa didn't get the prize.

"Damn...**Blue Eyes White Dragon**...why didn't I think of that," said Tsukasa. "Well, looks like I don't get the holiday and its back with my sisters."

Konata smiles. "Not to worry, Tsukasa. We have got a surprise for you."

A grateful Tsukasa is expecting a prize, but a box suddenly explodes, catching Tsukasa by surprise.

"Great, you got your surprise," said Konata. "Now get lost."

* * *

Traffic Officer Yui has pulled over Bus Driver Satoshi.

Yui is checking Satoshi's license. "I notice your driver's license requires you to wear glasses, but I can clearly see that you're not wearing any glasses."

"I've got contacts," said Satoshi.

Yui shakes her head. "I don't care who you know. You're caught. Come along..."

* * *

**[KNNNN News Update]**

Eriol Hiragizawa is at the news desk. "We interrupt this fanfic to bring you this special news..."

Konata walks up to Eriol and taps on his shoulder. "Excuse me, Eriol, but I believe you've picked the wrong time to interrupt my fanfic. You've pretty much ruined the flow of the previous joke and I don't think the news you're talking about is more important than my fanfic. Let me check the autocue..."

Konata checks the breaking news. "Nah, that could wait until the fanfic is finished. Who gives a flying flick about 52 million dead Digimons in Digi-World Earthquake?"

Eriol agrees. "You're right. Who cares about the Digimons?"

"I'm going to go back to my fanfic, so if you wouldn't mind, could you throw it back to the fanfic once I'm out of here?" Konata asks.

Eriol nods. "Sure thing." As Konata walks off, Eriol looks at the camera. "And right now, this:"

* * *

**[Game Show Segment]**

Back in the studio, it is another _**Game Show Segment **_with the Hiiragi family as the contestants. Konata is eating a Choco Cornet when she realized that the fanfic has resumed. Konata uses the Choco Cornet as a microphone.

"Welcome back to _**'Non-Sequitur Family Feud'**_, where the Hiiragi Family are at 90 points."

Currently, the Hiiragi family competing in the Game Show are the Dad _(Tadao)_, Mom _(Miki)_, Daughter _(Kagami)_ and Pikachu _(fairly obvious)_.

Konata begins the next question. "For Round 2, what are the ten most infrequent answers you would hear in a Pokémon battle?"

The Hiiragi family is now discussing what the answers are.

Konata repeats the question. "The 10 most infrequent answers you would hear in a Pokémon battle. Kagami?"

Kagami gives out her answer. "Fallopian tubes, sewing machine, Lewis Carroll, Street Directories, Law, I like Digimon, Atlantis, Inuyasha, 1845, Wine!"

Konata listen to the answers. "Hmmm, I'm not sure about that. I'm going to need to make a call." Konata walks to a phone and makes a call. "Hi, I would like to book for tickets to Comiket..."

* * *

Tsukasa is running around in an office as smoke was pouring out from under one of the doors and the Fire Alarm is ringing. Tsukasa quickly picks up the phone to call Emergency when she sees a case with a button reading **'In case of fire, break glass.'**

"Got it," Tsukasa said to no one in particular as she looks around. Tsukasa picks up a trash can and throws it at a window. "That should do it." Tsukasa quickly runs off as she hears the sirens...

* * *

"Comiket?"

**[Game Show Segment]**

Tsukasa is with Konata at the Konata's Lucky Wheel. The 'better luck next time' music was played.

Konata shook her head. "Sorry, Tsukasa. The correct answer was, _'I'm very well, thanks, Konata.'_"

"Damn," Tsukasa cursed.

Konata nods. "Yes. But right now..."

* * *

Kagami is sitting at the bottom of a cliff...

* * *

"Wait for it..." Konata interrupts the upcoming scene. She then finishes her previous sentence. "...this."

* * *

Kagami is sitting at the bottom of a cliff with a bandaged leg. On top of the cliff, Konata is flying a rescue helicopter as Satoshi is strapped to a harness as he abseils down the cliff to Kagami.

"How are you doing, Kagami?" asked Satoshi.

Kagami nods. "I think I broke my ankle."

Satoshi takes out a harness and puts it on Kagami. He then straps Kagami to himself. "Alright, we're going to take you up to the waiting ambulance, if you don't mind."

Kagami nods as Satoshi signals his colleague to raise them up.

As Satoshi and Kagami are being pulled upwards, Kagami could feel a bump from Satoshi. "Are you having an erection?"

Satoshi shakes his head. "Oh no, it's the harness buckle. It's a very big buckle."

* * *

**[Superseded by a New Sign]**

"Welcome back," said Konata as she hosts another Game Show Segment. "It's time now for Round Two."

Game show contestants Hiyori and Koushiro _'Izzy, no relation'_ Izumi are standing at their podiums. "Now, Izzy, if you don't mind taking your place in the soundproof booth, where inside, Izzy will be unable to hear my questions or Hiyori's answers. All Izzy will be hearing is music in his headphones."

Izzy enters the soundproof booth and puts on the headphones. "Can you hear me?" Konata asks Izzy, but Izzy could not hear Konata's question. Not sure how to reply, all Izzy did is give the thumbs up.

"Good." Konata begins her questions. "Hiyori, your first question: _What don't you like about Izzy?_"

Hiyori looks at Konata. "I don't think he fits into this fanfic. He's a Digimon Character in a fanfic about an Anime full of girls and wasn't he fired a few chapters ago?"

Konata nods. "Well, he still has some use. I mean, we did use him as a scapegoat and stuntman."

Hiyori groans. "Well, Izzy is the worst character to use in this fanfic and..."

Konata interrupts Hiyori. "Sorry, Hiyorin, but Izzy is starting to get suspicious. Could the audience give a round of applause to throw him off?"

The audience gave a round of applause, causing Izzy to relax, thinking everything is normal.

"And you were saying, Hiyorin?"

Hiyori continues. "I think Izzy is starting to get too big for his shoes. I mean, even in this joke, he shouldn't have this role!"

"What? You mean Izzy playing as himself?" asked Konata.

Hiyori nods. "Yeah."

Konata looks at the audience. "Applause, please?"

The audience gave a round of applause, giving Izzy no reason to be suspicious.

Konata asks another question. "And is there anything else about Izzy that pisses you off?"

Hiyori nods. "Yes, there is. I don't want to point fingers, but he shares a dressing room with Satoshi and Satoshi had two 1000 Yen notes in his jeans when he hung them up this morning and well, those two 1000 Yen notes are no longer there now."

"Are you accusing Izzy to be a thief, Hiyorin?"

Hiyori nods. "Yes, I am."

"Applause," said Konata. The audience gave a round of applause, making Izzy think that nothing is wrong. Konata look at Hiyori. "Alright, Hiyorin. Which gas do you want to release into the booth?"

"I want the chloroform."

Konata nods. "Good choice. **RELEASE THE CHLOROFORM!**"

The chloroform gas is released into the soundproof booth, knocking the unsuspecting Izzy out cold.

* * *

**[A Kero Affair]**

Kagami Hiiragi is being interviewed.

"Coming onto **'A Kero Affair'** is possibly a good thing for me. The previous one hosted by Kero-Beros was not up to scratch."

*

_**Narrator:**__ "Tonight on __**A Kero Affair**__..."_

Dr. Joe was in a lab.

_**Narrator: **__"The doctor who creates miracle diets which turn Digimon Tamers into Con-men Pikachus and why they are suing the doctors."_

A Pikachu is cleaning a kitchen bench. Next a girl is posing in front of a mirror.

_**Narrator: **__"Plus, the conman construction Pikachu who gave his daughter breast implants by spreading kitchen germs. Now she wants more and she's a Digimon Tamer."_

Sakura Kinomoto was with Pikachu at a park bench.

_**Narrator:**__ "Finally, the woman, Anime Distributor by Day, Pokémon Trainer by Night. Why she abandoned her Digimon Taming children for her conman Construction Pikachu job who builds bad buildings."_

*

Kagami continues her interview. "But I want to raise the bar by a bit. I want to include mainstream topics in my reports..."

*

_**Kagami:**__ "Tonight on A Kero Affair..."_

An Anime character was eating a cake.

_**Kagami: **__"How much fat is too much fat? When to say no? We ask a Pokémon Trainer."_

A fat Pokémon trainer walks by.

*

A Pikachu dressed as a surgeon runs away from a camera, then someone was cleaning the kitchen.

_**Kagami:**__ "The notorious Conman Pikachu plastic surgeon which uses kitchen germs to turn fat Pokémon Trainers from this..."_

A fat Pokémon Trainer was seen on camera.

_**Kagami: **__"...into this."_

A Fat Pokémon Trainer is rolling down a hill.

_**Kagami: **__"And why President Ketchum wouldn't do a thing."_

President Ketchum is eating lunch.

*

A Pikachu blocks the camera as the camera records footage of fat Pokémon Trainers walking along a street.

_**Kagami: **__"And the Conman Construction Pikachu who are preying on miracle diet Pokémon Trainers. A Special Kagami Hiiragi Investigation."_

Kagami is giving her report on the streets of Tokyo.

*

Kagami looks at the camera with a smile.

_**Kagami: **__"Find out more tonight on __**A Kero Affair with Kagami Hiiragi**__."_

* * *

**[Game Show Segment]**

Game Show Segment again and this time, the contestants are Kagami, Satoshi and Tsukasa completely wrapped up in bandages like a mummy.

Kagami slams on the buzzer. "Kobayakawa and Iwasaki."

Konata checks the answer. "Correct."

A bell rings and Konata suddenly panicked. "Oh shit, everybody out!" Konata realized what the bell meant. "Sorry, my bad. It's actually **Gift Shop Time**. I thought there was a fire."

Konata checks the scores. "Kagami, you're currently the Leader. So, when will the **Mass Suicide** take place?"

Kagami is confused. "Excuse me?"

"Sorry, wrong question. I should have been used to this by now." Konata looks at the background. "Patty, what do we have for Kagami?"

The background spins around, revealing Patty with the prize from the Gift Shop.

"Thanks, Konata. Kagami, you're going to love cleaning your home with this fabulous range of detergent and hospital-strength solvents from our good friends at **ACME**. Normally, a year's supply would cost **750, 000 Yen** but tonight, it will only cost you **7 Points**, courtesy of **ACME** and **Konata Izumi's Fanfic Project**."

The audience gave a round of applause as Konata nods.

"Well, Kagami. What do you think?" Konata asks.

Kagami shakes her head. "No thanks."

"But Kagami, everyone needs to clean. And it's good value because it's cheaper than the supermarket."

"Not when I got this prick breathing down my neck," said Kagami, pointing at Satoshi. "No way."

"It's only **7 points**," said Patty.

Kagami sends a glare at Patty. "I know. I'm not deaf."

"Kagami, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a Shrine Maiden."

"And what does a Shrine Maiden make a year, if you don't mind me asking?"

"About a Million yen," answered Kagami.

"You don't want to be Shrine Maiden for the rest of your life, do you, Kagami?"

Kagami groans. "Yeah, but I don't want to clean crap for the rest of my life, either, Konata."

Both Konata and Patty laugh. "That's a good joke, Kagami," said Konata.

Patty agrees. "Yes, she does have a great sense of humor, Konata."

Konata looks at Kagami. "Listen, I use my influence when I sell **ACME**, Kagami. It's been a bountiful investment for both Patty and I."

"We made over 500 million Yen last year," Patty said.

"And we're now at Diamond level," Konata adds.

"And we got to go to New York for a holiday, didn't we, Konata?"

"Indeed, we did, Patty."

Despite Konata and Patty's persuasion, Kagami is still not convinced. "No, I don't think so."

Patty sends a contemptuous look at Kagami. "You calling me a liar?"

Konata walks up to Kagami and shows her a sheet of paper. "I'll show you how it works, Kagami. You agree to buy X amount from me and you're at the top of the pyramid. Next, you on-sell that to five friends and they must give you **10%** of everything they sell and so on and so on and so on. Check it out"

Konata returns to the Host's podium, but Kagami is still not convinced. "It looks real suspicious to me."

"And if it's not?" Patty asks as she waves her hand over the cleaning products.

As if she was hypnotized, Kagami pressed the buzzer. And the bell rings. Konata panics again. "Oh shit! Oops. I did it again. Anyway, Kagami that's a **100 Thousand Yen Bonus**, which **10% **goes to me and **10%** goes to Patty, and seven points off for the **ACME** products, which drops you to **38 Points**, which means Satoshi is our new Leader. Congratulations."

Satoshi nods. "Thanks, Konata." Then Satoshi turns to the audience with a serious look. "Alright, my minions, time to drink the Poisoned Haruhi Cola."

The entire audience drinks the poisoned cola served by Pokémon.

* * *

A plane has crashed landed in the ocean. Unfortunately, most of the passengers do not know how to use their life jackets because they refused to listen to the safety procedures before take-off.

As Head Stewardess Kagami is floating, everyone else is struggling to keep themselves afloat.

"Stewardess, how does this work?"

"How do you inflate this?"

"Is there a trick to it?"

"Which way around does this go?"

Kagami rolled her eyes. "Oh, now you listen to me," Kagami sarcastically said.

Kagami quickly abandons the desperate passengers by swimming away.

"Wait, come back!"

Kagami swims past Taichi, a Businessman who is calmly sitting on some floating luggage.

Taichi raised his hand. "Stewardess, I'm from Business Class. May I have another Mineral Water, please?"

* * *

Traffic Officer Yui has pulled over Bus Driver Satoshi and Yui is checking Satoshi's license.

"I notice you are in a fanfic joke without a punchline," said Yui.

Satoshi nods. "That is correct."

Yui nods and returns the license to Satoshi. "Alright, carry on."

* * *

**[Game Show Segment]**

Miyuki and Minami are in a new game show as Konata reads a card to Miyuki.

"45, 769."

"Higher," said Miyuki.

Konata turns towards Minami. "732, 921."

"Lower," said Minami.

Konata turns towards Miyuki. "8."

"Higher," said Miyuki.

Konata reads the next number to Minami. "14, 600, 016."

"Higher," said Minami.

Konata reads the next number to Miyuki. "14, 600, 017."

"Lower," said Miyuki.

Konata looks at Minami. "126."

Before Minami could answer, a gong is heard. "Looks like we're out of time and we went through a great many random numbers in that round. I mentioned 53 in total. Thank Moe-Girl and Flat-Chest for their help."

**["Random-Random Numbers!"]**

Konata stands in front of a stage.

"Well, that's it for the Penultimate Chapter of my fanfic project. And what better way to end the second last chapter of a series by doing a Musical Number."

Konata walks to the stage, where Kagami, Tsukasa and Miyuki are waiting whole holding Pom-poms. Suddenly, the theme song for _**'Motteke! Sailor Fuku'**_ is played as Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa and Miyuki reprise their dance.

"_Aimai san-SENCHI!  
Sorya puni tte koto kai? Cho!  
WRAPPING ga seifuki,  
daaa furi tte kotanai. Puu!  
Ganbaccha! Yacchacha!  
Sonto KYAACCHI & Release. Gyo!  
Ase (Fuu!) Ase (Fuu!) No tanima ni,  
Darlin' Darlin' FREEZE!"_

* * *

Kagami wakes up screaming from a nightmare as she sat on the couch with Miyuki, Tsukasa and Konata. Konata is cosplaying as Pokémon Trainer Ash Ketchum while everyone else is dressed as Ninjas.

"And that brings us to the end of the fanfic. I hope we were able to entertain you for the past eleven chapters. Thank you and goodbye forever."

As Konata gets up and walks out the door, Kagami, Tsukasa and Miyuki suddenly realized that this is only the second last chapter, not the very final chapter. They quickly chase after Konata.

*

Outside, Satoshi walks out of a Cabin. He climbs on a waiting Rapidash and rides away on the Rapidash. Kagami, Tsukasa and Miyuki ran out of the cabin and began to chase after Satoshi.

"Come back, Konata! We need you!"

Satoshi looks back at his pursuers. "My name is Ash, not Konata! Didn't you notice the flaw in the continuity on when a blue-haired girl transformed into a black-haired guy riding on a Rapidash?"

Satoshi rides away on the field as Kagami and Miyuki chased after Konata. Unfortunately, Tsukasa tripped over and fell face first onto the grass.

*

Meanwhile, Konata is walking to her dressing room. "And don't use that previous scene in the final fanfic because I don't think the readers will get that joke."

"Chu chupikachu, Pikachu!" _(Translation: "No worries, Konata.")_

Konata walked to the dressing room door, only to find it slightly open. As Konata checks inside, she sees Hiyori pulling out a couple of Thousand Yen notes out of Konata's wallet. Hiyori smells the notes and pockets the cash before taking a swing of Saké from a bottle on the table.

Then, Hiyori looks up and sees Konata. "Oh, hey Konata. Izzy did pretty well tonight, didn't he?"

* * *

Minami is in front of the camera. "But right now, this:"


	12. The World Ends with Konata

Satoshi is on stage holding an award. "Minoru Shiraishi is a minor character who has made frequent appearances on Lucky Star, but his services to the Anime Series has helped made it a success not only in Japan, but in the International Market. Minoru Shiraishi deserves the award we are presenting tonight. The _**'Minor Character Memorial Services in Anime Excellence Award' **_which recognizes the efforts of Minor Characters. Please welcome Minoru Shiraishi onto the stage."

Minoru Shiraishi walks up to the stage to accept his award. After accepting the award, Shiraishi shakes hands with Satoshi and Satoshi hugs Shiraishi.

During the hug, Shiraishi feels a weird bump from Satoshi and he quickly steps back. "Are you having an erection?" asked Shiraishi, with a disgusted look on his face.

Satoshi shakes his head. "Oh no. It's my belt buckle. My belt has a very big buckle."

* * *

A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000

In association with Tai Enterprises

A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project

*

**Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuffs **

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...

* * *

President Konata is on a TV screen.

"Hello, my fellow Otakus. I'm _**Konata Izumi**_. I'm sure all of you are wondering why I am making a statement on TV. You see, I'm currently in another Dimension. It's a long story, so just watch the final episode of **'Konata Izumi, Japanese President'** to find out more..."

*

**[Opening Sequence]**

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A car crashed through a shopping mall.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

**[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi] **

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

**[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]**

Konata climbs into a submarine.

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

**[And Tsukasa Hiiragi as Tsukasa]**

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

President Ash is wearing a suit signing a petition.

**[Satoshi Katsumoto as President Ash]**

Shiraishi receives a wedgie by Taichi.

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

**[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 2]**

*

**[Episode 12: The World Ends with Konata]**

A helicopter is flying over **KonaHQ**.

_**Konata's Narration:**__ "The world is coming to an end..._

*

_**Konata:**__ "Fire."_

A warehouse is burning...

*

_**Konata: **__"Brimstone."_

A seaside building fell into the sea...

*

_**Konata:**__ "And Tsukasa is now declared Empress of Planet Earth."_

Empress Tsukasa is sitting on a throne, wondering how she got there...

*

_**Konata: **__"People were depressed and angry."_

A group of Otakus are rioting in the streets of Tokyo, attacking and firebombing cars.

*

_**Konata: **__"And I stole a rare Astro Boy toy off some kid."_

Konata is at a Daycare as she steals the Astro Boy toy from a toddler. "Get lost; it's my Astro Boy now, kid!"

*

_**Konata:**__ "Anyway, there is only one way for me to save the world: By spreading my favorite catchphrase around the world."_

"It's **Kona-Tastic**!" yelled Konata.

*

_**Konata:**__ "The plan is to beam my Catchphrase around the world by having a huge concert in every country while beaming it live on every Radio and TV in every home across the globe."_

A satellite is orbiting around the planet...

A huge crowd of people are about to watch a concert where Konata is about to use her catchphrase.

"Alright everybody, let's have a **Kona-Tastic** time!"

The audience began to boo Konata.

*

A Digimon throws himself through a window of a boutique store as everyone began to riot once more.

_**Konata:**__ "It turns out that my attempt to spread joy around of the world freaked everyone out and they all turned on me."_

*

_**Konata: **__"And the worst news is that my attempt has woken my Predecessor from his Coma after being ran over by an Ice Cream Truck."_

At a Hospital, a man covered in bandages opened his eyes. The bandaged man got off the bed and walked around like an Egyptian mummy.

_**Konata:**__ "President Ash had me arrested and sent to Prison until he has decided what to do with me."_

*

Konata is in Prison.

_**Konata: **__"It was pretty scary, being in Prison, but at least my bubbly personality will get me by. At least the first thing I can do is have a nice relaxing shower..."_

Konata is walking into the communal shower completely naked with a few other cellmates...

*_**Konata: "**__Uh-oh!"_*

*_**Konata: **__"Twitter Time!"_*

**[Konata's Twitter Account]**

_**KonaKona (10 minutes ago):**__ "Hi, Guys. You know how they tell you not to drop the soap in the shower, there's a really good reason why. People can be so rude sometimes..."_

_**KonaKona (5 minutes ago): **__"Been stuck in my cell painting my cellmate's toenails. Man, she's just as bad as Kagamin."_

_**KonaKona (1 minute ago): **__"Hooray! It's finally happened, guys. __**'Big Bertha'**__ Sakura asked me to be her Little Bitch!"_

*

Konata is sitting in a Prison cell.

_**Konata:**__ "While sitting in my cell, I decided to go through a Flashback Galore, since I'm going to be here for the rest of my life, I might as well let my life flash before everyone else's eyes..."_

**[Flashbacks Galore]**

_**Konata: **__"Like the time when I was a baby..."_

Baby Konata is being held in the arms of a young Yui.

"Wah! Wah! Baby Kona needs milk! Fetch me a nipple!"

**[Another Flashback]**

_**Konata:**__ "And, there was the time when I was on a Disney Craze..."_

An 11-year old Konata is levitating outside her home with an angry Sojiro yelling at her.

"Konata, get back down here! You cannot fly because you do not know magic or have the technology to do what you're doing!"

Konata refuses to listen to her father. "No! I'm Peter Pan and I'm flying to Disneyland."

Konata flies off and this time, Sojiro has never been so furious at Konata in his life. "Konata! Come back down here this instant!"

**[Another flashback]**

_**Konata: **__"Then, when I was 10 Years old, I got my very own Pokémon!"_

Konata and her Vulpix are walking down a forest path when they see a Meowth Balloon.

Konata points at the Meowth balloon. "Naruto, that balloon will explode if you use any attack on it. Do it!"

The Vulpix nods. "**Rasengan!**" The Vulpix spits out a green ball of energy a t the balloon, causing a massive explosion.

**[Yet Another Flashback]**

_**Konata:**__ "Plus, in my past life, I think I was a Mafia Boss..."_

Mafia Henchman Shiraishi runs into a dark office. "Donna Konata, please help me!" Shiraishi pleads using a pseudo-Italian accent.

Konata is wearing a business suit, stroking a white cat. She puts a couple of cotton balls in her mouth. "What can I do for you, Uncle Sebastian?" asked Konata, using the cotton balls to do her accent...

**[End Flashbacks Galore]**

_**Konata:**__ "Suddenly, my flashbacks have been interrupted by some breaking news..."_

*

President Ash and a group of Foreign Leaders have finished a meeting by having Ash sign a petition...

_**Konata:**__ "Finally, President Ash has made his decision. He stipulates that as long as I don't declare myself President of Japan or use the term __**'Kona-Tastic'**__ ever again, I will be free to go."_

*

Konata is at a Press Conference. One of the reporters asks a question, "Ms. Izumi, do you plan to be President or use the term **'Kona-tastic'** ever again?"

"Of course, I'm President Konata Izumi, President of Japan and I will be the most **Kona-Tastic** Japanese President ever!"

Suddenly, President Ash's bodyguards pounce on Konata, arresting her once more.

*

_**Konata:**__ "That was the straw that crushed Ash's Pikachu. President Ash has ordered that I'd be launched into space, never to return to Earth again."_

Konata is strapped into a seat inside a vessel designed for Space Travel. The Vessel has been launched out of Earth's atmosphere and into the darkness of Space...

_**Konata:**__ "President Ash promised to send me live feeds of every Anime series in existence and have Kagamin's brain hooked up into the Spaceship's Computer, proving that he is a very diplomatic man, even though he exiled me from Earth."_

Konata is sitting in front of the Ship's computer, hooked up to Kagami's brain.

_Kagami: "Hello, Konata."_

"Kagamin, we'll be together in space for all eternity."

_Kagami: "Oh dear Pikachu. My brain is stuck within a computer and you're still positive at being exiled from Earth?"_

"Of course, perhaps I can discover new universes and planets mentioned in different Anime series. Either way, in Space, you can definitely hear me say **KONA-TASTIC**!"

The Spaceship drifts into a spatial vortex...

**[The End of Konata Izumi, Japanese President]**

**[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]**

**[A Blue Ahoge Production]**

_**Konata: **__"Bye!" (Head explodes)_

*

Konata is back on her video feed. "As you can see, I am now the President of my own Dimension..." Konata looks up. "Oh shit! I think there's an Alien over there! I'm going to get my face hugged! HELP..." The video feed is suddenly cut off...

**[We apologize for the technical problem...]**

President Konata returns to the screen, breathing a sigh of relief. "Don't worry, my fellow Otakus. That was just only a Pikachu chewing on some wires in the background. Anyway, I'll be enjoying myself where I am the most **Kona-Tastic** President of my new dimension. See ya!"

* * *

**[The Final Ever Segment of this Fanfic]**

**[Tai's Office, 4:45 pm]**

Konata is in Taichi's Office with the boss himself.

"It's a pity that your friend Miyuki is leaving on her holiday today. It would have been nice for her to celebrate the success we had in **'Konata Izumi, Japanese President'** at your office party tonight."

"And Satoshi has already left on his holiday, so he won't be joining us either," said Konata. "It looks like it will be just Tsukasa, Kagami and me invited to the party."

Taichi crossed his arms. "Is it even worth calling it a party with just three people?"

Konata grins. "You all know what they say. Three's a crowd, so four and five makes it a party!"

Taichi nods. "Anyway, in recognition of your hard work, I have decided to present to you Satoshi's Red Cap..."

As Taichi gives Konata the red cap, Taichi suddenly feels has a strange sensation through his head, making him slightly dizzy.

Concerned, Konata feels Taichi's head. "What's the matter, Tai?"

"My Anime Character Senses are tingling real bad." Taichi focused himself. "Konata, I believe your friends are in danger."

Konata is confused. "Wa?"

"I must confess. I have special powers. You see, my rabid Ex-Girlfriend bit me, giving me the ability to sense Anime Characters in danger."

Konata's eyes sparkled. "You mean to tell me that you had super powers all this time! That is so awesome! Maybe if Kagami goes rabid and she bites me, I'll get superpowers too!"

Taichi walks to the door and opens it. "What the hell are you mumbling about, Konata? Right now, you have to save your friends or they will die. Now go!"

Konata runs out of the office.

* * *

Konata is running around and she ends up inside a props room where she sees Tsukasa looking at her cell phone.

"Oh my god, Tsukasa, get out of the way!"

Tsukasa sees Konata. "Konata, I got your text message to wait here!"

Konata notices a piano hanging above Tsukasa. Sensing the danger, she quickly yelled, "Tsukasa! No! Look out, above you! Above you!"

"Yeah, Konata, I love you too!" Tsukasa replied. "I guess Konata must have drank a lot tonight even before the party," Tsukasa said to herself.

The mysterious person in a black cape and pink hair cuts the rope holding the piano up.

"No!" Konata screamed.

The piano crushed Tsukasa. As Tsukasa lay dying under the piano, Konata runs to her.

"Tsukasa," Konata screamed, "If only I had found you sooner..."

"Kona-chan," Tsukasa catches her breath, "Don't blame yourself for my death. There was nothing you could do. I probably wouldn't have been able to make it I had known."

Konata held Tsukasa's hands. "I could have done something, Tsukasa."

Tsukasa smiles. "Kona-chan, I heard that you were awarded Satoshi's Red Cap. My dying request is that I wish to die wearing Satoshi's Red Cap."

Konata nods as she takes the Red Cap out of her pocket as a sad piano tune is heard.

Konata glares at the pianist playing the sad tune on the fallen piano. "Excuse me, I'm saying goodbye to my dying friend here," said Konata. "Can you at least play something mellower?"

"Sorry," apologized the Pianist.

The pianist played a less sad song as Konata puts Satoshi's Red Cap on Tsukasa's head.

"Thank you, Kona-chan." Happy that she's wearing Satoshi's Red Cap, Tsukasa dies.

Konata stood up as she looked at the scene. "This was no accident..."

* * *

"Konata? Tsukasa? Kagami? Where are you?"

Miyuki is wandering around the corridors, searching for her friends. Suddenly, Miyuki slips over spilt honey, near a sign reading, **'Danger: Spilt Honey'**.

Miyuki rolls around in the spilt honey. Miyuki then gets up and falls into spilt birdseed, near a sign reading **'Danger: Spilt Birdseed'**.

Miyuki rolls around the birdseed, with the birdseed sticking to her thanks to the sticky honey.

Suddenly, Miyuki heard a noise.

"Konata, is that you?"

The mysterious killer in the black cape and pink-hair runs to a shaking box with the sign reading, **'Danger: Killer Pidgeys'**. The killer opens the box, releasing the Pidgeys and they began attacking Miyuki by pecking her all over her body, thanks to the birdseed stuck to her.

"AHHHHHH!" Miyuki helplessly flails around trying to shoo away the Pidgeys, but the Pidgeys' continuous pecks is overwhelming Miyuki.

Konata runs in slow motion towards Miyuki.

"Miyuki!"

The Pidgeys leave behind a dying Miyuki covered in honey, birdseed and feathers. Konata runs to Miyuki and held her hand.

"Forgive me, Miyuki; I would have saved you if it weren't for me running in slow motion. Why should I suffer from losing another of my best friends, especially one that is so Moe?!"

Miyuki smiled. "Konata, I have to tell you something: I think I know who the killed me and so does Tai." Miyuki closed her eyes.

"Miyuki!" Konata screamed. Konata wiped away her tears. "While it is sad, at least Miyuki died the Moe way; being pecked to death by Killer Pidgeys while covered in honey and birdseeds. Damn you, Tai..."

* * *

Kagami is walking down a corridor. "Konata! Where the hell are you? Ahhh..."

The Pink-haired killer appeared behind Kagami and used an injecting gun to inject Vincent Valentine's Blood _**(Warning: Keep out of Children's Reach)**_ into Kagami's bloodstream...

* * *

Meanwhile, in Taichi's office, Konata forcefully slams Taichi to a wall, with an elbow at his neck. "Miyuki and Tsukasa are dead! And Miyuki said that you know who the killer is. Or perhaps she is implying that you're the killer!"

Taichi frowns. "I won't deny the fact that I know that you guys are in danger," said Taichi. "Ever since you arrived, there has been a lot of tension among the people I fired. One of them is responsible for this atrocity."

Konata released Taichi. "I haven't heard from Kagami. I'm now beginning to get worried for her."

Taichi checks outside his office. "It's too dangerous for any of us to stay in the building, since the killer is still here. I'll draw the killer's attention to me so that you can escape and call the cops."

Konata nods. "But we should stick together. There's safety in numbers..."

"True, but this is something I have to handle myself. If I take you with me, you probably won't survive."

Taichi removes his goggles and passed the goggles to Konata. "My newest toy, it's called **Goggle-Cam**. It has a hidden camera to give it a bit of a Blair Witch feel and if you happen see the killer, use the footage as evidence to the killings. Be careful, if you treat it like a slingshot, it will cut someone's head off."

"If you say so," Konata puts the goggles on her head. "I will live for Miyuki, Tsukasa and Kagami's sake."

"Good," Taichi said as he walked out of his office. "This is where we split up. Hopefully, we'll meet each other again."

* * *

Konata is able to make it to the building's back loading dock. Konata spots Kagami wearing a red cape, red bandanna, black outfit and a single gauntlet on her left hand. Kagami has her back towards Konata.

Breathing a sigh of relief that she has found one of her friends is still alive, Konata walks up to Kagami. "Kagami, you're safe. Let's get out of here."

Kagami is not responding to Konata. Instead Kagami is staring at the wall. Konata shakes Kagami. "Kagami, we got to get out of here! Miyuki and Tsukasa are dead!"

"I know," said Kagami.

"You know? But how..." Konata is interrupted when Kagami grabbed Konata by the neck and with supernatural strength, Konata is held above Kagami.

"And you will be joining them in the afterlife, Konata," Kagami said in a demonic voice.

"You...been...injected...with...Vincent...Valentine's...blood!" Konata tried to speak as she catches her breath under Kagami's grip.

Kagami throws Konata into some boxes and Konata safely lands onto a well-placed mattress.

"Now, I will go and kill Hojo." Kagami mumbled as she prepared to walk off into the darkness.

Konata quickly recovered as she picked herself off the mattress. "Kagami is no longer human. She's evolved into a Tsundere-type Vampire." Konata noticed that Goggle-cam has been knocked off her hair. "Aha! Goggle-cam! If there is one way to kill a Tsundere Vampire, it is to cut off the source of their pent up feelings in their head."

Konata removes the goggles she is wearing and prepares to aim it like a slingshot. "Here goes nothing..." Konata launches Goggle-Cam at Kagami. From Goggle-cam's POV, the goggles flew towards Kagami's head and it decapitates her, making her headless and the body falls lifeless onto the floor.

Konata drops to her knees as she looks at Kagami's dead body. "I'm sorry, Kagamin, but it was too late to save you."

Konata hears a gunshot.

* * *

In another room, the pink-haired killer now has a gun aimed at Taichi from behind.

Taichi smirked. "Of course, you are the only person I know capable enough to do this." Taichi turns around to see Sora Takenouchi wearing a black cape and a pink wig while holding the gun.

"Why, Sora?" Taichi lights a cigarette as Sora keeps her gun pointed at Taichi.

"Take a guess, Hair-Boy," said Sora. "You fired me and a bunch of your friends from **Tai Enterprises**. But in the end, I will show the world that you're an Egotistical Tyrant and this will be my revenge."

"But you won't get away with this!" Taichi yelled. "Not when I have meddling kids on my side!"

"As if," Sora laughed. "I killed three of those kids and there's only one left. After I'm done with you, that blue-haired shorty will be the last one. And with her out of the way, I would have pulled off the greatest trick the Devil himself has ever pulled: by convincing the world that he really never existed and in a poof, I'll be gone."

Konata enters the room, but neither Taichi nor Sora noticed the newcomer.

"It looks like it's the end of me. And to think I loved you in the first place," Taichi said.

Sora nods. "I know. Those were the good old times." Sora points her gun at Taichi. "But it's time for me to say goodbye, Tai."

"No!" Konata screamed. As Sora pulls the trigger, Konata runs in slow motion and takes the bullet for Taichi.

"Konata!" Taichi screamed.

Sora simply shrugs, knowing that Konata herself has saved Sora the effort of finding and killing the final victim. Sora quickly runs off, dropping her pink wig onto the floor. Taichi held Konata's dying body in his arms.

"Konata, please, don't die."

Konata looked at Taichi with a smile. "I...like...I...like..." Konata closed her eyes and goes limp.

"Konata likes me? But why now?" Taichi screamed. "I must end it all." Taichi takes out a small bottle of blue liquid and looks at it.

"Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavory guide! Here's to my love..." Taichi drinks the liquid. "O true apothecary! Thy drugs work quick. And thus, with a kiss," Taichi kisses Konata in the cheek. "...I die." Taichi dies from the poison, with Konata in his arms.

A second later, Konata regained consciousness and finished her sentence, "I...like...Pokémon..." Konata dies.

* * *

**[Final Words from the Crew]**

**Satoshi:** _"Like a truck driver doped up to his eyeballs full of meth-amphetamines while driving his rig over a clock, we've run over time."_

"_Although the girls are unable to have any last words, the Author would like to thank the reviewers who took their time to read and review this fanfic."_

"_Though some of our cast members are wondering why some fanfics that are much more crap than this one could get more reviews in a single chapter than what this fanfic can accomplish in 12 chapters, especially when the crap fanfic has less than 1, 000 words, bad grammar and spelling and it was able to get 10 reviews is beyond anyone's guess. I guess I should stop before this becomes a rant."_

"_This is Satoshi Katsumoto, in a Voice-Over Booth..."_

**[Is it the end?]**

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**[NOT!]**

A young man in a blue school uniform enters a morgue. Four bodies were covered in white sheets. Each sheet is attached with a Yu-Gi-Oh card with a picture of the person and name.

**[Konata Izumi] - [********] - [Warrior/Effect] - [Water]  
**_As long as this card remains face-up, your opponent can only select this card as an attack target. This effect cannot be negated.  
_**Atk/2800 Def/3500**

**[Kagami Hiiragi] - [********] - [Pyro/Effect] - [Fire]  
**_This card can attack your opponent directly if "Konata Izumi", "Tsukasa Hiiragi" or "Miyuki Takara" are on your side of the field. This effect cannot be negated. _  
**Atk/3000 Def/2000**

**[Tsukasa Hiiragi] - [*****] - [Spellcaster/Effect] - [Light]  
**_As long as this card remains face-up, your opponent cannot play any spell or trap cards. This effect cannot be negated. _  
**Atk/2000 Def/1500**

**[Miyuki Takara] - [****] - [Fairy/Effect] - [Earth]  
**_As long as this card remains face-up, "Konata Izumi", "Kagami Hiiragi" or "Tsukasa Hiiragi" can be Special Summoned from your Deck or Hand at any time during the player's turn. This effect cannot be negated.  
_**Atk/1500 Def/1500**

The mysterious student pulls out a card. "I use **Monster Reborn**!"

A bright light shinned over the covered bodies. The four formerly dead bodies sat up, wearing their Ryoo High School Girls Uniforms. As the light disappeared, the man who brought them back to life was none other than Yugi Mutou, or Yami Yugi's power from the Millennium Puzzle.

"Welcome to **YU-GI-OH**!" said Yugi.

Miyuki smiled. "Well, it's good to be alive..."

"And kicking," said Tsukasa.

Kagami crossed her arms. "But the one thing that bugs us is that..."

"We're all in the wrong Anime Series," finished Konata.

**[The End]**

**Final Author's Note: **Can anybody spot the numerous references I made in this fanfic? It probably wouldn't matter if you did or not, since this fanfic is now complete, enabling us to focus on much more important fanfiction projects...


End file.
